We’re on the eve of Diwali. But a strange apathy has taken over. I’m feeling most unfestive (I know its not a word, but it best described what I feel). Ganesh Chaturti and Dussehra came and went, and I was most unmotivated to do anything remotely festive. I think it’s a combination of my agnostic attitude and the husbands cluelessness to all things religious. Even back in Bangalore, I was never overly into customs, traditions and rituals. I never bothered to really absorb and learn the various traditions. I was always a part of it, but never took the initiative to do stuff. Festivities were more about family and food for me, very honestly. Food and goodies got made, people got together and good times were had. Year after year after year. So, trapped out on the middle of Panjim, with just me and myself (and sometimes the husband) for company, it’s a bit hard to generate the same festive spirit. The husband expressed this morning how so un-Diwali-like it feels. And in my heart I echoed the same feelings.
As if it isn’t complicated enough keeping track of the intricacies of South Indian festivities, ie the 2-3 days of Diwali, what happens on each day, etc etc, it seems the North Indian side that I have married into has a whole different Diwali Agenda. Today is supposedly DhanTeras: a sub-celebration of Diwali completely alien/new to me. But I hate to differentiate, so I think if I have decided to try and celebrate Diwali, Im going to try and do a bit of what both sides expect of me. Its only fair, no?
So turns out I must light lamps tonight, dress up in festive splendour and generally have a good time. But to make things even more fun, the husband is out on a business trip and wont be back until tomorrow. Funny pictures are being conjured in my head, thinking of me all dressed up (something I have never done since we moved here), lamps lit, Diwali mood “on”, and all alone. Something tells me theres no point of celebrating alone, is there? So after I do my bit at home, I might just end up going temple hopping with Karishma and her family, which I think will be fun. Its something I haven’t done in a long, long time.
To up the Diwali spirit a bit, Im going to try my hand at making ladoos. Its what my mom would do back home and its the least I can do, in addition to llighting lamps at home, to make me feel like I am in the midst of some Diwali happenings! So watch out for an update on the food blog. Happy Diwali ya’ll! I hope its big and bright and full of family, food and fun – just the way I’d like my Diwali to be.