Not so long ago, I was on a rare blogging-high-spree. I felt positively unstoppable, finding blog-worthy material in every tiny little nuance of my life. I found myself constantly mulling over various events and experiences, furiously noting down ideas any where I could, spending hours churning out long-drawn posts one draft out after another, eventually letting much of it spillover here, and in the bargain annoying the living daylights out of those in my immediate environment. Because all I ever did was blog a lot, talk about blogging a lot, and then some.
Today I looked longingly at the dusty pile of drafts I have written and neglected. Some half begun and still finding a way to completion, some started but not exciting enough to see through, some incomplete thoughts strung together without meaning, some complete but never published. Yup, a considerable lot doesnt make it out here. Because very often, on second or third read, I find them not worthy of being shared.
This blog isn’t one of those gyaani kinds, where I take pleasure in sharing my views on politics or technology or the ways of the world. It isn’t a blog where I’m writing topical issue-based features. It isn’t a cerebral melting pot of subject matter. What it is, is simple. Its a blog about me, myself and I. Its a space for me to obsess about my life and everything that goes on with me, within and outside of my head. And sometimes, I get superbly conscious about just how much I can go on and on and on about myself. I dont know if I’m as self-obsessed in life, as I am on the blog. But here, the agenda is fixed. It is a blog where I share things that happen to me. Happy, sad, funny, serious, ridiculous, surprising, exciting, thought-provoking, everything.
When a post makes me stop and think I need to put a lid on how much I ramble on about myself, I don’t publish it.
But that’s just me, that’s just how I am, I guess. I like to live in the moment. I like to make the most of it. If I’m feeling a certain way, I like to revel in it. Soak it up and cherish the emotion, the event, the surroundings. And this blog helps me hang up each of those memories into neatly framed posts, in the galleries of my mind.
Its a reminder of how alive I feel. Of where my meandering, sometimes meaningless, sometimes uber-exciting life is taking me. And there’s nothing more exciting than cataloging these wandering thoughts, feelings, experiences. Each one contributing to who I am in some way or the other.
The silly silly movie I have just blogged about had some rather powerful poetry, that stuck in my head. Yes, it featured some beautiful poetry in the midst of all that silly tomfoolery and insipid acting. Possibly the only spectacular part of the movie aside from that lone song thats stuck in my head, was the line from one of the poem:
“Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein, to zinda ho tum.”
That’s just how I am. Reach out and grab every experience and cherish it for what it is, for whatever it may have or not given me. This blog is a record of just that. Some day, I know I will look back on it, and smile. Because it will be a memento of me, myself, and my life. And for that I’m willing to be selfish, self-obsessed and making my little world the centre of my universe.
Photo credits: Niyati Upadhya, for discovering this sweet doodle and instantly thinking of me :)