What became of..

the year that just flew by?

For the life of me I couldn’t remember. Did I not remember because nothing memorable happened? Or was the year so spectacularly boring that nothing significant comes to mind? The disappointment that followed made me sit down and think about it. Long and hard. That’s when it struck me that my life, ever since I left college, has been a series of somewhat life changing events, one after another. Every passing year has had a defining theme about it. Unconsciously claiming my life and directing it in a certain way. Of course I realise all of this only in retrospect.

2006-07 was about getting a jumpstart into the working life. Tasting sweet freedom and independence. And, of course, wanting more.

2007-08 was spent in the pursuit of finding grounding in something I loved. It was about seeking direction, professionally speaking. Carving myself a niche. Trying my hand at various things. Getting burnt several times over. Giving up. Picking myself up again and moving on. It was about arriving at certain inalienable conclusions that have since impacted the course of my career.

2008 was about the wedding: the run up to it, getting the family involved, facing all the drama that ensued, getting to the excitement, and then dealing with everything that came after.

2009 was about coming into my own. It was about facing up to a new reality that was now my new life. Being thrown into situations that brought out sides of me that I didn’t know existed. Acknowledging certain new facets of my life that needed attention, taking charge of it, deciding what I wanted and making some big decisions that would significantly take my life on a detour.

2010 was all about rapid change. Moving cities, adapting to a new life: newly self-employed, part-time housewife, discovering domesticity and the rest. I had to adapt quickly, think on my feet and it gave me a rush I never imagined a life at home could.

It’s no wonder then that 2011 is so dull in comparison. It hasn’t been a defining year, by any stretch of imagination. It hasn’t changed anything significantly. It has just put me on a track that I have moved along without much thought. Or when thought struck, I ignored and continued like a beaten horse. It’s only now that it all starts to come back. Like an angry refrain. Thrusting the helplessness, of a year gone by with nothing worthy of mention, down my unwilling throat.

So think I did. There had to be something I would like to remember the year by. Something to take back with me. What did I really do, in the year I want to quickly forget?

I went to a CRY project. I realised what a world of difference there is between an on-ground NGO environment, and the stories that are spun by communication professionals who sit in offices in Mumbai, via a communication agency sitting in Goa. So removed from the truth, yet full of a misplaced sense of passion, that is almost always at cross-purposes with what is actually needed.

I Bought a Macbook Pro and sold my soul to the most beautiful gadgets there ever were. All those Apple-loving sluts out there you all hate so much? Yep, I’m one of them.

I went to Kerala to attend the Big G’s wedding. Spend a glorious 2 days on a houseboat. Thought that such travel at the start of the year would be a sign of things to come. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Back then I didn’t know that my next holiday would be seven whole months later.

I had a summer with very little beach time. We visited the beach only when we had people visiting, and the total number of visits come up to a grand total of a not so glamorous 4 occasions.

I got sucked into cricket mania at the fag end of the world cup. After dissing the cricket fever and the country’s mad frenzy to give up all things sane and put life on hold to watch India play, I joined the band wagon. Cheering, face painting, and all. Oh, and then I watched India win!

I felt like a workaholic in Goa. Realised that we have turned into one of those strange creatures who moved to Goa, and then became workaholics. Sure one can argue that for a large part I did enjoy myself, but that much?

I turned 27 and quickly had to digest the fact that I’ve long crossed that healthy side of 25 cut-off mark. The part where your metabolism is always racing. Where you can gulp down oodles of yummy, sinful food, exercise it off (or not) and still not feel the bane of it. Yeah, that’s history for me. From now on, I have to burn the food I eat. You don’t exercise, its a pain. You exercise, its still a pain. Screwed, either ways.

I made some new friends. At work, and in Goa. But that came off the back of falling out of touch with so many more. Some who I even considered good friends. It’s funny what distance can do to people. It’s also interesting to note that the few that I am in touch with, are the few who cared to stay in touch and vice versa. So perhaps I should think of this as a healthy filter. That people come into your life for a reason and beyond that there’s no holding anyone down, no matter how much you need/miss their presence in your life.

I made a big change in the blogging aspect of my life. After 5 loyal years with google and its user-friendly ways, I moved to wordpress. Got over the initial complications, realised its a grown0up way to blog and began to love it. I think the move helped me discover a whole new level of blogging joy. And I can safely say I’ve gone beyond the meaningless rants and the random bursts of words to actually putting my thoughts down coherently.

I enjoyed yet another glorious Goan monsoon. Music and all.

I cooked, cooked, cooked and cooked some more. While I didn’t do as much justice to the food blog as I’d have liked to, my kitchen has become my new best friend. A comforting end to any kind of day. My space to be me, do as as I please, fearlessly make mistakes and learn from them and celebrate successes with as much gusto.

I got really fat, unbelievably unhealthy and lethargic. I’ve said this before: 2011 will go down as the most sedentary year in my life. With very little exercise, inordinate amounts of unnecessary indulgence and doing nothing about it. This. Has. Got. To. Change.

I got pissed off with people and got off fb too many times than I care to remember. The final straw that broke the camel’s back came in September and though I haven’t felt tempted to get back ever since, friends telling me they miss me and my links and music has made me contemplate coming back on. Heck, I even tried for a whole 29 minutes last week, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I promptly got off again.

I didn’t travel anywhere as much as I’d have liked to. I thought about going to Europe, Bangkok/Thailand, Bhutan several times over, but did nothing about it. Shame. This too. Has. Got To. Bloody. Change.

I celebrated three years of marriage, and I can safely say that the key to making VC and me work is heaps of understanding and loads of patience. From both sides. But unlike me, VC has an unending repository that seems to be enough for two people. I have realised that we disagree a lot. But we don’t fight too much. And that is only because of aforementioned Magic Key.

We went on a fantastic biking trip all the way from Goa to Hampi, on VC’s new Thunderbird. So yeah I may not have gone everywhere I wanted to, but the one holiday I took, I enjoyed to the very last bit. 4 days of uninterrupted chill-dom was what was needed. And its what we gave ourselves, locked up in the boondocks in a stone house, with no television, no cellphone network, no newspapers, nothing. Just books.

I did however travel for work a fair bit (by my standards). And travelled to Bombay a fair bit (by my standards) to meet family and friends. I didn’t go home to Bangalore for ten whole months. Then when I did, I swore I wouldn’t go back too soon. Barring the space within the 4 walls of home, the city just doesn’t cut it for me anymore.

I didn’t shop very much for myself, but the few things I did treat myself to, I have enjoyed tremendously. I bought the iPhone and fell in love all over again. I got blue highlights in my hair in a fit to change something in a life that was getting dull and boring with every passing day.

I fell prey to the unhealthiest year in my life. Had way too many tummy upsets, and watched my body be a dumping ground for some of the strangest things that can happen to the human body, including eczema and sties in my eyes, if you please!

If I were to sum the year up, the loudest and largest aspects seem to be working too much, feeling fried, a lot of the time. Wanting to holiday and not making a move. Obsessing over keeping some sanity and order at home, striking a balance between home and work and not always succeeding. Its funny but my so called unmemorable year seems like a good guide to what-not-to-do-in-2012. What I should do instead, is: Keep it simple. Act on it. And let it happen.


19 thoughts on “What became of..

  1. Pingback: An almost-missed milestone | hAAthi

  2. Pingback: In which I succumb to looking back on 2012 « hAAthi

  3. Nice, introspective post. :)
    2011 was not great for me – I don’t remember much of it now when I think back upon the year. That’s sad. There must be something good to remember the year by. I will think over it, for sure.

  4. However lazy you say u were, you sure had some awesome times. Great sum up! Such fun reading ur way of writing :)

    Happy 2012! Hope you get to travel to wherever you want to!

  5. :)

    2011 may have been lazy, but lazy is not too bad a thing when you’ve been having a lot of life-changing years since 2006 na?

    Good luck with 2012! From your previous post, it looks like it’s been a good beginning for you. Which in itself is a good thing.
    I’ve had a terrible start (in spite of the Coldplay concert) and I’m looking hard for a silver lining but not seeing any so far!

    1. Oh hey i didnt think of it that way! I guess youre right.

      And dont worry theres always a silver lining. You started the year at a coldplay gig ya it doesnt get more awesome than that!

    2. I completely agree. After having spent so much time and effort changing things up, we all need time to soak in the change and just BE. Sometimes it’s pauses like these that bring about the most clarity. The way I look at it, the very purpose of a pause is to make you feel unsettled and uncomfortable until you find your way to the next life-altering change you need to work towards. Ever noticed how people get really antsy/chatty/nervous whenever there’s a pause in the middle of a conversation? Better yet, an interview?

      You’ve survived a YEAR of pause. Go YOU!!! I did 3 weeks (my India trip) and can’t believe how it’s turned things upside down in my life.

    3. Sorry, I meant hAAthi, YOU’ve survived a year of pause. And Sanjana, you’re just getting rid of all the bad things 2012 had in store for you. Just getting them out of the way so the rest of it is smooth sailing :)

      1. Yes i figured out the order of who the comments are addressed to ;) and i think i like the sound of this pause theory. Makes me feel a lot less miserable abt 2011 and a lot more optimistic abt 2012.

    1. Haha, and it almost didnt! Except that I got so flustered at realising just how bloody boring 2011 might have actually been, I forced myself to rethink it and go through every insignificant event of the year.. and look what came of it!

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