No, not so soon. Just the other day I was writing about how the year ended quietly with a pleasant lack of celebration. It seems that since then, January has passed me by, just as just as quietly. Almost stealthily. Was it a good month? I’m not sure really. Was it better than December? Most definitely. Was it a good start to the year? Totally. It was busy, but satisfying. It was productive, but tiring. Yesterday, the last day of the month came to a close, almost serendipitously I found myself shutting down my laptop well before 6.30. Something I haven’t done since the year began. I lazily drove home watching the evening joggers all around. It’d been a while since I had seen that sight, and that’s when it hit me: I was finally going home before the sun had set, on the last day of the busiest month in recent times. Could this be the sun going down on the craziness that was January? Perhaps, perhaps. Who knows?
For the first time all month, I found myself at peace. Without the daily work hangover. No thoughts about pending tasks. No worry about what I needed to look into the next day. Just quiet peace. I actually got home in time to sip my evening chai on the balcony. As I sank into my extra-flattened beanbag, the thoughts began to reel. I realised that January has been fairly awesome. Even in all its crazy splendour. January gave me the chance to discover that I still have the energy to give my work my all. If I’m inspired enough. That inspiration comes in many places. Not necessarily in dreamy places like the seaside, watching the gulls fly along and the clouds shifting shapes. I was inspired by a well planned project. A motivating leader. A supportive team. So I guess the trick is to look for that inspiration, because I’m not always going to get it laid out on a platter, or in the most obvious sources.
January also made me realise that I’m very much a solitary wanderer, rather than a pack person. After a whole month of constantly being around people, with the team at work, hanging out with them after work, working on weekends, watching work-home lines blur and always having colleagues around as a result, I’m craving some distance. Some time to myself. Unplugged. There are those who find strength in numbers. Those who need their gangs and cliques. Those who need company all the time. I am not one of those. And this month has driven that home. Hard. So yesterday was a good way to really decompress. And I did so all by myself. With a book and then a movie. I cooked me a home-cooked dinner and had a good nights rest. Like nothing I’ve had in the last four weeks.
The tide has definitely turned, transforming the endless inbetween I spoke about, into a slightly crystallised form. I find myself wandering down. With everything that January has given me: a little bit of confidence, a touch of clarity, some focus and just maybe a little bit more drive.