I’ve learnt a bitter lesson today. It’s been a long time coming. Seven months to be precise, but the way it came today was like a dagger driven straight into my heart. Not once, not twice. But three times over.
So there in the midst of trying to reign it in, blink back tears and focus on churning out yet another emailer to cajole an indifferent audience into donating to hungry Indian children, I remembered something I’d seen a while ago. Something I’d seen quite out of the blue and dismissed as cutesy, today seemed so damned relevant. And it slipped out of my mind, as if by fluke, in between jotting down ideas.
Some things are worth fighting for. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes you have the energy to endure it all. But today I just don’t. Sometimes you just have to let go. Really. Completely. With all your heart. In a way that gives you closure.
As much as I I believe I am the introverted, peace-loving, confrontation-hating person, I can turn into quite the feisty cat when it comes to people I love and relationships I care to keep. Given that there aren’t too many of these to begin with, it enrages the living daylights out of me when people who claim to know me well and be close to me behave in a way that is diametrically opposite to everything I hold sacred in a relationship. When it comes to close friends, I have never been afraid to speak my heart, face up to my misdoings and fix things. And if that can’t be understood plain and simply, I guess I need to learn to stop hanging on and hurting myself over and over. I guess sometimes you have to stop fighting it. And you just have to let go.