How much is too much?

I’ve been blogging for over five years now. Never once has my blog been the cause to run into trouble. Not even the times I have ranted about my folks through my angst-ridden pre-twenties, or when I bitched down a few people I had grown to dislike. And that was only because family loves you too much to point fingers at you. The real world? That’s a whole different ball game. It’s uncaring and can turn from friendly and coy to cut-throat and cold before you can say tiddlywink. So when it almost did yesterday, it got me thinking. About just how much is too much? When does one draw the line on the information sharing? Who gets to decide? Should one draw the line to begin with at all?

The intricacies of the situation I found myself in are complex. But without going into what happened, let me try and simplify the thoughts that have plagued my mind ever since.

Mine is no special blog. It’s just another run of the mill self-obsessed, self-centred bunch of narratives about I, me, myself, my thoughts, my life, my little world. Yes, nothing special. It really doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the singular thread that ties all my writing together is that every piece is connected to me. Just this afternoon, in a completely unrelated chat conversation, my friend Arjun said, “So many thoughts you have in your head da.”

And there it was. The penny had dropped. He couldn’t have been more right.

The thing about my blog is that I am freaking wedded to it. It is almost this person I go back to at the end of everyday. The person I confide all my thoughts to. The person I can’t wait to share my every meaningless thought with. Its where I go for everything beyond mere narration of the happenings of my rather ordinary life. Where I share, challenge, debate and consider pretty much everything that goes on inside my thick head. Whether as a result of my actions, my interactions, my associations, my memories, my likes and dislikes or anything.

The blog is my chalkboard, if you will. My canvas. My stage. My means of expression to string together my thoughts and show them off to the world. But here’s the catch, as private as some of those thoughts may be, it is a public domain. I don’t know why I switched to a blog. It just happened as a sort of natural progression from the two score journals that I have kept since age 12. Except it was a huge jump. From privately spinning words in the hidden recesses of my journal (sometimes even in code, mind you :O) I made the mighty leap. It doesn’t get more out-there than putting your words on the Interweb. But by doing so, I have chosen an audience that is beyond my control. As is what they make of my meandering thoughts. Heck, sometimes even I sometimes can’t make sense of them.

But that’s just the beauty about this queer relationship I have with my blog. It is like a husband. It is the one person I don’t have to always make sense to. It is the one place where I don’t have to curtail, concoct, candy-coat, craft and canoodle my way through my words. I do enough of it on the job. And as a a creative person in a job that is bound by a million rules, I couldn’t have a better creative vent than this blog. Every one of us needs one. Ask the writers you know, and they’ll tell you what a mad lot we are. We can never keep pace with what’s going on in our heads. They ones that have found a way to at least track their thoughts will tell you how wonderful it is.

So that’s that. I’m wondering if I should shut this place down and resort to my good old journal. Good old pen and ink. But then I have grown so attached to it that shutting it down would be like breaking up with a lover. Stifling and filtering my thoughts would be like keeping secrets from him. And even as I grow wiser with what my eyes have been opened to yesterday, I find myself coming back to the question I began with: Just how much is too much? In a situation where I am what I write, because what I think makes me write, just how much can I choose to ignore and omit? In a forum so publicly-public, what qualifies as private?

Thoughts, anyone?

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “How much is too much?

  1. Y’know Revaa, there’s a reason why I’ve never mentioned my name on my blog.. I made a new vague ID just for the blog and out of all my followers, 4 years back, I could count on my fingers the people I knew personally. But same story.. It wasn’t anonymous anymore. Followers from the blog became very good friends and slowly an innocent mention of my name here or there by a commenter had its share of slips.. so although there are still very few people on my blog who know me “in person”, there’s been a huge leap of facebook adds and pen pals from blogspot itself.. and similarly, suddenly I had certain people reading my blog who I’d rather have not.
    So I gave it a thought, tried turning my blog private and all that. But it didn’t work out cause lets face it, nobody had the time to send out emails and subscribe to and all that jazz. Too much hardwork :P
    So I let it be. Cause at the end of the day, I completely agree with what you said- “I am what I write.”
    and that’s that. People will have to deal with it and so will I :)

    Please for heaven’s sake don’t shut your blog. Really, it’ll be a pity. It’s a gorgeous safe haven which is yours and only yours. Opening the floodgates only makes it a better tourist spot with a whole lotta life in it : )

    • Hmmm you make a pertinent point nil :) i decided against shutting it down almost as quickly as the thought came to me. But i guess what i can do, much as it hurts, is not write about some aspects of my life. Because it is the sensible thing to do. Hmmm.

  2. “But by doing so, I have chosen an audience that is beyond my control. As is what they make of my meandering thoughts.”
    I can’t agree more, babe. I’ve thought of shutting down too. Many times, in fact. I went private for a few days too, but the amount of emails I got from people, requesting access made me rethink. I love connecting with people through my blog. Going private would mean the end of it. So I decided to stay. Anytime I write a post that I am not sure I can share with an unidentified audience, I password protect it. Maybe you can consider that?

    • I thought about going private, but then its as good as going back to a journal, so I junked that idea. The problem isn’t with the “private” stuff, because if its too private to share, I don’t blog about it. The problem is with some things that I think are harmless details, but could be misinterpreted by people in my immediate circle. While I love how I’ve made so many friends through my blog, sometimes I wish I could just draw a line from the inner circle of people :P Evil thought, it is, but I wish it were possible!

      Yes, it seems like password protected posts are the way to go, much as I hate the thought.

  3. This whole blog-non-anonymity thing is scary; especially for me. Grr. In my case; I am always afraid someone will find out this is me; and link it to the professional me. Hence the names; the changing of URLs (did it at least 3 times); and maintenance of absolute vagueness in terms of locations, names, etc. Then again; a lot depends on you. I see so many people write in detail about their fights with spouses; best friends; and in laws. I wouldn’t be comfortable sharing those; at least not on a public forum like this. Do i have the right to present a one-sided story especially when it concerns those dearest to me?

    Now you know why my blogposts are the way they are; too much falls into the nondisclosure category :D

    PS. Sorry about the punctuation. My comma key is stuck and I had to insert semicolons in the place of punctuation to make sense of my own comment :D

    • Its not even a case of anonymity. I dont hide my identity or related details on the blog. I dont blog about such controversial details, mostly because I dont have such a happening life :P so the worry of being discovered and thus getting in trouble doesn’t arise. I didn’t see any harm in what I thought was single minded blogging about MYSELF. Who could I be hurting but myself?! But my eyes have just been opened to twisted and funny possibilities I didnt know were possible. I guess I have still a lot left to understand about human beings and their strange ways. Until then, with a heavy heavy heart I will have to resort to password protected posts once in a while. Much as it just totally SUCKS! Gah!

      And LOL@the stuck comma key. Im not going to edit the semicolons :)

  4. in a world getting smaller by the day, do we care whether there’s verbal diarrhea or the opposite going on? most of us are cool with overload, but is it actually being treated the wrong way round by twisted minds? food for thought!

  5. Don’t stop yourself from speaking your mind on your blog, because at the end of the day, it is YOUR blog. Divulge as much information as you like, and if privacy is a concern change names, locations, people and add the disclaimer “Any resemblance to persons and things living or dead is purely coincidental.” :) That should work.

Pour your thoughts over mine

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s