Fighting flab again

It’s always hard to swallow the bitter truth. Harder still, for me, because I was happily living in the safety of a previously held notion. And early this week (like, really early) reality came in and struck my carefully tucked-away notion, shattering it to bits, mercilessly. Leaving me with pain.

Sweet, sweet pain.

It all started at 6.30 a.m. on Monday. Post a weekend of debauchery of the gastronomical kind. Where indulgence knew no bounds. And I set myself free like a hungry child who hadn’t had a sinful meal in forever. Except my previous sinful meal was on, erm…Friday evening.

I don’t know what has happened to me off late. Its like my body is at loggerheads with my mind. It refuses to acknowledge the fact that while I might still be young in spirit, my digestive system and metabolism think otherwise. And have chosen to do what they were bound to do sooner or later. Slow down.

Food no longer digests as quickly. Hunger no longer attacks as often. Energy no longer gets burnt off effortlessly. And the result is more than visible. To me and the world at large. Large, being the operative word here.

This behaviour is not new. And I am reminded of what someone (I think it was my mom, so I’m inclined to believe its true) once told me, that the openness and willingness to eat with undisguised freedom, is a sign of how happy and at ease we are feeling in our lives. So I can blame this horrible condition I have, this greed that has turned me into a delusional pig, completely on Goa. And the happy liberation I felt when I came here. That and the altogether illegal amounts of sea food, red meat and cheap alcohol. Yes, that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

I have ever since forgotten restraint. I don’t know what moderation is. It doesn’t help that I hang around in a social circle of only boys. Who believe that eating out means going all out. Means nothing is ever ordered in batches of ones and twos. And that every meal must end with dessert. Sinful dessert. I don’t have the faintest memory of loving pork or any red meat for that matter. But here I have discovered what having mid-day meat cravings are like. And I happily give in to the need to satisfy every urge by the end of day. I didn’t know I was the kind of person who has Baskin Robbins on speed dial. Worse still, the BR guy recognises me just from hearing my order.

No longer have I uttered the sinful words, “2 brownie a la modes, please. Both with 2 scoops of chocolate and 1 vanilla,” than he knows which way to go. At first I felt enchanted and thought it was kind of endearing that he knows me. But now, not so much.

To think that I went from being a measured, controlled-eater, compulsive fitness freak to this, only hit me last weekend. Again. I was always the kind who didn’t have to worry about being fat. Or overweight. Always having some fitness regime going, didn’t give me reason to. Or so I thought. Until I realised that all my favourite clothes have been staring at me, begging to be worn for over a year now. And I find that I am inclined to shedding my bra the moment I get home (never have I felt so constricted and stuck inside of my bra) and choosing to is wear only kurtas, loose T’s and those horrible inventions called tunics (which merely make you feel slim, conning you further into the notion that it is not time yet). Being a previously fit person my wardrobe doesn’t feature too many of such items and I find myself recycling the same bunch of clothes over and over.

I knew that it was time to get up and get going. Quite literally so. Because my battle with flab begins with my battle with waking up. My days have gotten so hectic and packed that working out in the evening is not an option. The only time I can squeeze in, with any hope of consistently keeping at it, was to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn. Something I have found umpteen excuses to evade now. Until Sunday evening when I sort of just psyched myself into waking up. And lo and behold, it worked. And yet again, for the millionth time, I am on a routine again. And Jillian Michael doesn’t let you go easy.

I’m trying out her 6Week6Pack. Not with any hope of getting that 6pack, because that will involve cutting back on the intake, which I’m not willing to do yet (what, I’m taking baby steps here, okay?!), but with the intention of getting a really vigorous workout to kickstart my day. And while I perk my energy levels by starting the day with a mug of green tea and freshly cut fruit, I can sense myself feeling better already. Except for the butt that wont stop hurting.

Seriously, you guys! I’m beginning to wonder if I should worry about the fact that I’m slogging my abs off with this 6pack thing and the only thing that seems to be hurting is my butt? Then I told myself that maybe this is a sign that there are parts of my body that are so horribly out of shape that I don’t even know of it. So I will persevere. In the hope that I keep this going. Because God knows I need some endorphins in my life right now.


12 thoughts on “Fighting flab again

  1. diptiii

    keeep goinggg keeep goingggG!!! hugs. be regular, that’s all there’s to it. i have been gymming since two months – not hardcore, just basics – cardio and light weight training and moderate eating, am seeing results and u know how pleased that makes one feels. no pain no gain for sure. gain = loss of weight for us of course.

    i am happpyy u are doing the workout.. dunno what the 6 week 6 pack is about, will read up. avoid red meat , avoid binge drinking. i turn into a pig on sundays. i eat!!!! and i feel i deserve it after a week of eating such depressing food.

    just be regular, 2-3 months and u will fit into those clothes again. maybe earlier! different bodies react differently

    *regular* is the key. regular workout


    1. Arrey wah!! Look who decided to make an appearance!
      And thanks that gives me hope. Its been 10 days and apart from the good positive energy that I cant say that I have “seen results”. So yes, lets hope I stick and do it regularly so that maybe in two months something will show. Because really Im so sick of this motapa!
      And ppst: I might be in Gurgaon tomorrow. Might might.


  2. I spent a grand total of 5 months of life working out. And always eat like a pig. And till now, it was never an issue. I was always slim. And assumed I would always be. But in the last couple of months, I’ve noticed that all this bad eating (and not working out) is taking its toll – and at this rate, I’m afraid I won’t even fit into my clothes by the end of the year. Every Sunday I think, I’m going to start working out from tomorrow, but that tomorrow never comes. Sigh!

    I’m so inspired that you’re finally taking charge and working out. I wish I could beat myself into it too.


    1. Yeah thats the exact same thing I’m facing. Having just been lucky with being slim, I think I kind of took it for granted. Now things are changing and its reached that worrying point where Im afraid if I dont do something now, my body will change forever. egadss!


  3. Well, I’m NOT the lucky kind that does not have to deal with my eating and still remain slim. My whole family has this tendency to be FAT in a few indulgences itself. But considering the fact that I play sports and soccer regularly, I kind of stay fit but god knows what will happen is I stop because I EAT like crazy. I’m hungry always and I so get the freaking out part! I get all hyper and start making plans right away. :P Good luck with the fitness program!! And yes, NEVER miss out on the BnR delights ;)


  4. YOU GO, Reva! :)

    p.s- 12th grade has screwed my flab count, too. God knows I’m going to be at the park running for my life after them boards get over.
    And no, I’m not looking forward to it. At.all.


  5. lol @butt-crack of dawn! :D

    And I know exactly what you mean! Though I was never majorly into fitness, I wasn’t exactly faaaat fat. Although I’ve *always* felt that I could stand to lose about 5 kilos, even in college where I was ridiculously thin and emaciated looking (courtesy of the pathetic hostel food).

    But now… now I really DO need to lose those damn 5 kilos! I religiously keep my alarm for 5:30 every day, and snooze till 8 am! (yes, I’m THAT bad!) And lately I blame the sandstorm for not going out for a jog! ;)

    All the best! “May the force be with you!” :D


    1. Same same.. I just happily believed I dont really need it and all that jazz. Until now. This is the longest Iv gone without any proper exercise.. Ugh its gross. And thanks, I need all the good luck I can get..


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