Yep, that pretty much sums up my Bangalore trip a few weekends ago.
It’s a dark and hot Friday night, and there’s no other place I’d rather be than indoors. Away from the heat of the air, the people and the town outside. Its the kind of weather that’s perfect for skivvies, lounging in an airconditioned room, and for catching up on all that has transpired. Between that point of time when I got sort of gobsmacked by people, events and the general travesty of amicable, social behaviour that I have come to realise is the norm. Apparently, I wasn’t around when they sent out that memo. The one where frank and grown up relationships were replaced by weird and unnecessarily complicated ones. I now know that it is beyond me to comprehend this absurdity, so I am am much better off without it. I like my life simple, and simple is how I’m going to keep it.
The husband seems to think I let these things get to me too much. And he’s right. He also says it’s reached a point where I must pin-point what the matter is, and fix it. He’s right again. But since everything outside of myself in this complex web of equations is not in my control, I must work on myself. So until I figure out a way to turn a deaf ear when I hear unpleasant things, and develop a thick hide to unpleasant, hurtful turn of events, I will be prone to these mild upheavals, I guess.
It’s the kind of night to go back and let go. I’ve just hit play, and the song seems fit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel good. I feel happy. I feel peaced out. Life throws lemons at me sometimes. It’s what you get for being so damned sensitive. But one thing is clear. The brooding must stop. Now. Some things are worth brooding over, and this is certainly not one of them. That much has emerged loud and clear.
In some senses, the trip to Bangalore came at the right time. Just when things were reaching the brim, and I was all ready to spill over, I got to quickly get away from it all. It was just so good to just cut-off. From the sameness. The same faces. The same talk. The same gossip. The same nonsense.
The trip was, as it always is, a whirlwind. Apart from the usual chaos, the effort that goes into just merely getting anywhere in Bangalore, this time around I had the added pressure of wanting to be in many different places all at once. As if the pressure of having to toss my time between two homes isn’t bad enough, I now had A Certain Someone, who had deigned to speak to me again, stay in touch and omigawsh (!), meet me. Not just that, hang out. Yes, it was a wonder of wonders, and another addition to the motley mix that is my rather limited life in Bangalore.
So what did I do there? Quite simply: I ate, I slept, I soaked up all the love and affection from all quarters, I ventured out a little bit. And I was glad to come back home.
Aside form the obvious copious amounts of pampering at home that instantly make me regress to age 10, the sister and I also took advantage of the fact that we were all under one roof again after so long, by dragging our mattresses into our parents room. And sleeping in there all through, just like we sometimes did when we were kids.
Needless to say of course, menus were altered and my favourites were cooked. On more occasion than one. The mother was harassed with the overflow of affection we showered on her, the father was gushing with silent happiness, as he always does. And all was well in Chez Upadhya.
But apart from that I visited old haunts, riding in autos with rigged meters that stopped half way.
And drank illegal amounts of filter coffee.
I went to the much talked about pish-posh microbrewery for some sending.
I had some awesome Basmati Beer. Which was beyond awesome.
I overdosed on windowshopping. Like an aimless mall-rat I roamed the monstrous malls mushrooming all over the city. For no apparent reason. By the end, I glazed over and wanted out. I swear I cannot step into another mall for the next year.
But every trip to Bangalore is not without that constant nagging thought at the back of my mind. That odd mix between not having enough time to accomplish everything you want to, and also dying to just get through it all and rush back home to Goa. This trip was no different. Much fun was had, but by the second day I was all spent and happy to be going back home. Yet, it was just the right break I needed. The warmth of family and friends. The nostalgia. The sense of being overwhelmed with all the change.
Bangalore was all that. That. And the filter coffee.