Papier mache heart

I’ve been feeling a bit like that. Like a papier mache heart. The worst kind of heart to have in the monsoon. Because when all you want is some resolve to make things happen, you have indecision. You want the comfort of routine, but all you get is shape-shifting days. You want peace and all you get is a cacophony of possibilities. And in the midst of it, your papier mache heart is getting shredded to smithereens. Like right now. I feel likea scattered collection of little gluey blobs that I must gather, and the more I try, the more things seem to disintegrate. Into one big mushy, pulpy, shapeless form.

I need a break. I need a holiday. It’s been almost eight months since our last vacation. When we drove out to what felt like the edge of the earth, where cell phone networks went bust, time stood still and all we did was ride around, observe, read, lounge, be together, silently soaking it all in. That’s the kind of holiday I want again.

So in a little over two weeks, we’re off to Thailand. As the husband put it, “to sit on a beach and do nothing”. Yes, you’re not the only one to notice the tremendous irony in that sentence. To go from the land of beaches, all the way overseas, to go sit on a beach and do nothing. But such is life. And I want out of life for a bit.

I want colourful cocktails laced with chunks of pineapple. I want a big beach umbrella, a towel, a fat book, and no curfew. I want pad thai noodles and seafood. I want tropical rain and postcard skies. I want that massage at the spa. I want to slow things down. To breathe in and just be. Just whatever it takes to get my papier mache heart back in shape.


11 thoughts on “Papier mache heart

  1. Tamanna Mishra

    I am off on a well deserved time out on a hillstation next weekend. Can. Not. Wait.

    Where exactly are you going to be in Thailand? It’s such a nice, quirky, sunny, fun place!


  2. You wrote this post for me. There’s nothing I want right now more than a holiday. But I’m going for one in two weeks too! Ladakh…on a 16 day holiday…..and I CANNOT wait! We can do this countdown together ;-)

    Oh, and Thailand is gorgeous and lovely. You’ll have a great time. And get LOTS of massages.


    1. ooooh ladakh! you know ladakh has been on the agenda for something like three years now and every season we make plans and they fizzle out. this year was no different. when the leh-ladakh plan looked like it was going to flop we quickly planned this thailand trip for fear that we might end up not going anywhere. im going to die in this countdown. so yes lets do it together!


  3. Hi! I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while now! Can’t even remember how I got here, probably through MMs blog. Just thought I would delurk and comment on this post because many times I read your words and they seem to echo my state of mind perfectly. This is one of those times again. Have a great break in Thailand and sometimes all it takes is a beach away from home!


    1. thanks for delurking! this is exactly what i love about blogging? that i can feel something so personal and write about it and just know that someone somewhere will get exactly what i mean!


      1. Smita

        I know but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel na.

        In my case we are taking a break towards the end of the month and will be covering 3 cities (2 sates) & will be attending a marriage. All this in 7 days and with a 1.8 year old kid in tow!!! Sigh!!!


        1. Yikes, I will think of you everytime Im feeling sorry for myself. Somehow that always puts things in perspective. Good luck and I hope you get a break in the midst of all that :)


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