So apparently I’ve been living under a rock. Because I don’t have a TV anymore, and I am not on FB, I miss out on all the outrage. I just might be the last person in the country to see this television commercial, but it blew a fuse in my head faster than I could say 18-again.
What kind of regressive, twisted minds sit in ad agencies and dish out ads like this?
Did we not get enough (of tasteless advertising and the outrage that followed) when we learned of whitening our vajayjays a while ago? Now we must know how to tighten them as well? Apparently brand ambassador Celina Jaitley, called this an “empowering product” at a press conference.
Are you for real, Celina? Empowering? Because that means we can now preen and primp ourselves down to the last T, or should I say, erm, V. All for the benefit of men? Because being perfect in every way possible, is the pinnacle of our existence. The milestone of having arrived. As women.
It’s funny how India is stuck in a flux of moving backwards and forwards at the same time. On one hand we have the Mary Koms and the Saina Nehwals doing us proud. And we sing songs of praise from the rooftops, about the moderns Bharatiya Naari and how she is out and about and doing us proud. And then we have examples such as this, that bring us firmly back where we started.
But, surely this is progress, don’t you think? We’ve broken the shackles of looking down on our privates as dirty, unmentionable things. Because now we have all new products, sleek TVCs, sexy homely women shimmying her thing in front of their joint families. We no longer shy away from matters of womanliness. We talk about them boldly. Yes we’re liberated. We can talk about vaginas on TV, we care about women’s hygiene, we’re uninhibited. Yet, amidst all this new found courage and progressiveness, is that shadow of the same old narrow minded, typecasting attitude: that the hallmark of a woman’s life is to be the best she can be. For the man in her life.
What kind of empowerment is that, I ask you? Should we take pride in the fact that we can (and will) now de-hair, perfume, whiten, and now tighten our pussies. Not because we want to or might feel like, but because our husbands would like it.
Should we feel glad that someones openly talking about it in a TVC? I mean, who cares what you feel? Who cares if it makes you feel used and like a mere object at his disposal. You’re watching a big bold advertisement on TV. 60 seconds entirely dedicated to making you vagina tighter. Guaranteed to make you feel like a virgin. So much so that even Paati is looking it up on the internet. It doesn’t get more progressive than that no?
So there you have it. One foot striding ahead disguised as being liberated, and one foot firmly stuck in the past. Is any wonder then that what we are, is actually stuck in the middle. At least it will now be a tight, white kind of stuck-in-the-middle, I guess.
What’s it going to be next? First we wanted the fair skin. Without which we couldn’t be TV anchors, or sportwomen. Then we wanted silky straight hair, like its the only kind of hair worth having. Then the odourless armpits. Then the white armpits. We even went so far as aiming for white vajayjays even. And now we want them tight too?
Have we gone batshit crazy? Seriously. Whatever it is these folk smoke, I’d like some of it.