I think that maybe I am in the throes of what they call Notice Period Blues. And I’ve been in this place before. Though not quite in the same way. Last time I had a sense of angst, because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I didn’t want to go. This time around, I’m raring to go. I really want to just take that step ahead, do the things I have so far only lusted about. All the things I have put off, saving them up for the endless days of funemployment. I can’t wait, really. And all this endless in between is totally getting to me, often giving me a severe case of the notice period blues.
Okay, I’m not really blue, I’ll admit it. I have nothing to hate about my workplace. I have nothing to complain about. Besides, this week has gotten off to a surprisingly good start. I was actually elated on a Monday evening. And both Monday and Tuesday have gone off painlessly. Work got done, I actually had a few good ideas to share. Productive even. But all of that does not take away from the fact that I am on my notice period, the very nature of which brings a ten kilogram weight on anybody’s head. Dead weight. Pointless, weight that isn’t really doing much more than weighing down on you.
It’s getting to me so bad, that I even cracked a horrible, horrible joke about it.
What do you call it when its that time of the month, for two, painfully long months? Yes, you guessed it right. Notice Period.
I feel like I am in a constant state of limbo. Stuck in a state of semi-listlessness. Not knowing where I really belong, of what is expected of me. But what’s really making it extra hard to reign it in and pretend like it is just another day, like any other, is this:
Today is day 10. And it hasn’t stopped.
Everything is insanely pretty outside. This morning, I placed myself on my balcony for a good while, warm cup of chai nestled in my palms, I thought to myself, how can I be leaving this to go serve another day of notice period? I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. The weather beckoned, in a way that can only be responded to with music, putting pen to paper and a lazy day ahead. But I shook myself out of it, telling myself to take heart.
In time, I thought, and the only spark of optimism that kicked me into getting a move on was the thought that come October, there will be no more waking up to routine. There will be no more playing to the rules. Because in October, if a rainy morning begs me to stay and watch, I
can will happily give in.