Confessions of a closet housewife

I’m beginning to wonder (and then settle into a nice comfortable state of acceptance) if I was meant to be a stay-at-home kind of person all along, and if I was unnecessarily fighting it for all these years. Because I see signs of this every now and then, and it makes me stop in my tracks as I go about my rather simple life.

I’m having market-withdrawal, believe it or not. I haven’t made my weekly trip to the sabji mandi in over 10 days, improvising with what I have and eating aloo (which is usually only reserved for days when I have absolutely nothing else to make), and I have finally run out. Also, I feel like a trip is in order. I’m feeling that withdrawal kind of itch, to be in the sweltering market, with the konkani chatter, the Mario Miranda murals, the fresh veggies, the tiny fans and dim lights. This silly IFFI is upon us and it makes the entire market area a bloody nightmare to access. Oh and also, they hog our only INOX for 10 days and I’m at that point where I need to just watch a trashy hindi movie. So yes, IFFI needs to leave now. Thank the Lord it ends today, because I really need to go to the market now.

Given the vast spans of time I now have at my disposal, I feel compelled to deliberate over every little decision. Things like “to go to the market now or not?”, “what veggies to look out for today?”, “shall I run 6 km or 7 km?”, “plain idli? rava idli?”, “wine? G&T?”, “what should I bake today?” — are all taking on monumental proportions.

I’m living the housewife role to the hilt. I say housewife because I delight in little things like figuring out what lunch and dinner is going to be. I’m even cooking hot meals, and delivering lunch to the husband every day. Its an added bit of happiness to the week when I can whip up the odd dessert, and have it ready by the time we’re done with dinner and chilling on the diwan, right before bedtime.

My expenses excel sheet has never been so accurate and up to date, and I am quite the whip-cracker when it comes to reminding the husband about pending bills, odds and ends to be fixed around the house.

Socialising is becoming a measured and planned affair. Choosing what we will do when, with whom and how. And I like it this way. And as if all this is not enough to qualify as a housewife, I must let you in on a whole new level of crazy. I take superlative pleasure in making to-do lists. I was always a list-maker, mildly obsessive-compulsive too, but of late being organised, having things under check and in my control around the house has reached an all new high. Like yesterday for example, I decided to dash out to the slightly fancier super market instead of the regular one, because I wanted fresh chicken as opposed to the frozen stuff (which I want to slowly wean myself off of). I glanced at my shopping list and it looked something like this:

Chocolate chips
Coconut milk

My inner-OCD-list-making-maniac almost did a somersault.

Mundane. But so awesome. Especially when it suddenly hits me that despite choosing to be stuck at home (yes, I’m still not going out like I planned to last week) and doing things like making lists, changing sheets, cooking one meal too many and baking more dessert than I can consume in one go, I feel like my life is fuller. Know what I mean?

Somewhere not so deep inside of me, is a housewife who is slowly but surely getting comfortable in these new shoes. In many ways its like re-discovering an old pair of shoes that lay neglected, gathering filth for many years. The ones I suddenly realised I had forgotten I owned. So I pulled them out, frantically dusted clean and realised just how comfortable they actually are.


17 thoughts on “Confessions of a closet housewife

  1. You had me at closet housewife! Here’s another, feeling exactly the same way!

    (Long-time lurker– love the way you write! If you spot a consistent IP add from Singapore, sometimes several times a day, that’d be me!)


  2. Duuude! If you’re a list maniac, I have an iPhone app suggestion for you… have you installed Orchestra? Orchestra is a list maniac’s dream!! The awesome thing about Orchestra is that it allows you to make many lists (personal to-do list, separate grocery stores lists, etc.) and lets you “remove” things from your list when you’re done with that task (like picking up that particular grocery/other shopping item), so you won’t have to go over the list multiple times to make sure you got it all, and it allows you to add other members involved with these tasks (like your hubby), and your list syncs with his/her phone, and so if it’s the other person who goes to that store – no more dictating-on-the-phone and the other person making a list, no more scraps of paper with lists, etc.! After I’ve installed Orchestra, I’ve never come back from a store, remembered something else I should have brought from that store and felt like an idiot for forgetting to bring it. And you don’t necessarily have to type the item names either – you can SPEAK into your phone and it converts it into text (needs a slight amount of americanizing your accent, and sometimes words, of course ;)). And since your phone is with you all the time, you can speak/type things into it as soon as they occur to you, wherever you are (like you can enter “toothpaste” when you remember it in the bathroom)!! Ok you can tell I’m a hardcore Orchestra fan :)


    1. Hahahaha that does sound like my kinda thing. Right now i use this app called Clear. And its fabb. Minimalist design meets super functional listmaking app kinds. Also allows removing of things from a list. Combined with a kaching! sound to ring in a sense of accomplishment hehehe check it out. Its pretty neat.


  3. suthewriter

    I’d quit my job a couple of years ago, and this is exactly the phase I went through. :D I was a super-housewife, cooking up a new dish everyday, baking and all. Now, I guess I’ve sort of mellowed down a bit, you know, when the novelty wore off. Perhaps for people like us who’ve never been at home since school days, a sort of feminine-instinct kicks in all of a sudden?


    1. Oh a bulk of my day is spent in reading and writing. but the bit about enjoying the rest is a new discovery. You could always hire someone to do the cooking and cleaning no? I could too, i just want to do it while i still can. Who knows? If i get down to writing that book or opening a cafe then i might have to ditch the housewife shoes all over again.


  4. That list was something.The OCD patient in me was jumping with joy!
    And I’m soo glad I’ve finally found one person who concurs over the stay-at-home-in-my-small-bubble-of-peace thing…though I take it to different extremes..I like keeping my phone away and not talk much,a la princess-in-gloom!
    Anyway I can live life vicariously through yours!
    P.S. You’re being really prolific these days…inspiration source please!


    1. Prolific? really? I feel so the opposite, actually! in fact I have so many incomplete drafts (enough to make a post a day) that i want to write but just cant get myself to finish..also feel my posts are not up to the mark as I want them to be :S
      you guys are too kind!
      thank you.


  5. Smita

    There are days when I wish for such and existence. Last Sunday when we are the site visiting our under construction flat..My MIL was happy that there would be ample sun light in the kitchen and then I commented, ‘but I wud not be there to experience it’…I wish I cud quit my jbo and stay at home. Vaise I know that I would be bored of it within a week but still we are allowed to dream na? ;)


    1. Haha, of course we are.. where would we be without our dreams? Though, if you are in the right time and place to stay at home, I dont think you’ll be bored. Iv been home-bound before, and cant say I have ever loved it and felt at home and at peace as I now do. I think its about timing :P


      1. R

        I saw the list and the first thing I did was check if it was in alphabetical order :D. I loved this post. The ‘un- complexity’ of it all can sometimes be so refreshing, no?


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