Things about VC that I never want to forget #11
VC is the epitome of patience. Only sometimes.
If there’s one thing about VC that I actually, really want to forget, it would have to be his impatience. If there’s one thing I could change, in an instant, it would be his restlessness. His inability to wait, calmly. To hold on, while some things that tend to take time to just happen, happen. So if, for example, I don’t have a sufficiently accurate answer to a question he has asked, the restlessness shows on his face. If the service-man is unable to address his queries fast enough, he’s quick to dismiss him as inefficient and start considering an alternate service. The other day a sweet lady from the local bank came over to help him figure out some mutual funds. Not knowing that he might already know the basics, she did her job by starting at the very beginning of the story. Approximately 47 seconds in, he cut her off and asked, “Okay, so what do I need to do?”
In the kitchen, VC’s enthu abounds. Until he realises that cutting veggies takes some time. As does sauteing onion lovingly, over a low flame. His impatience knows no bounds when a pressure cooker sits stodgy on the burner sputtering away, all the while wishing he could just get the damn thing to erupt into a mighty whistle already. His instant-result-obsessed self would like to think there virtually every action can and must be mechanised. For efficiency of course. All the better to get instant results with. If he had his way He might like to turbo-charge me too.
I can hear the lot of you who know me in person chuckle. Yes, its a bit rich for the Queen of Restless-dom (me, in case you didn’t get that) to take potshots and crib about her husbands apparent lack of patience. I’m all kinds of fidgety and hyper-active. But with VC its not so much the physical restlessness. Its the sort that makes him expect instant results. He asks for something and he imagines that it will actually be conjured within minutes. And somehow it is at precisely all these moments that I somehow turn into the embodiment of calm composure . I feel sorry for said service-man or bank lady, and make eyes at VC discreetly, hoping that he will calm the eff down and give the poor woman a chance to say her piece!
But for all is impatience with all things trivial, I’ve realised that he has a firm inner core of calm. And it is large and heavy enough to envelope the both of us. For every wavering, fluttering decision that I make, it is the steadiness of his inner core, that takes us through. It’s easy for me to say that I am the bohemian of the two of us. Following my heart and what not. Ridding myself of my job just so I could bake, while he willingly let go and assured me that it was alright. I’m the one that froths at the mouth, picking inconsequential fights over art, music and feminism, while he sits back and watches calmly, and later soothes me with his live-and-let-live lectures. For every zany dream that I let myself fly away with, he is the anchor that keeps me grounded.
I’ve never quite been able to put a finger on this air of coolness that he carries around. Until very recently, when a series of situations had me in a frenzy. It doesn’t take much to send me spinning into a tizzy, and most of those times it is VC who steps in, calmly lists out what needs to be done and marches through one thing at a time. And that’s when it struck me.
In every life situation that has left me paralysed, he’s been the one to ease life back into me. In every health issue that has turned me into a worry wart, he swooped in and insisted it was nothing I couldn’t face. When the work stresses flew in thick and frequently, he undid it all with his logical thinking and quiet composure, until we reached a decision. And because when it comes to decisions, I am crazy most of the time, he is right there to back me up all of the time.
The decision to start the Hungry & Excited business was 80% his. I just agreed, because I was happy to have someone take care of the heavy-duty business part of it. Yet, we’ve had a few meltdowns over it. Where differences in personalities emerged like giant alter-egos of the people we think we are, ending with him throwing his hands up in despair, mostly because I am too carefree to fully strap myself into business mode, and him trying to make me see that there is a fine line between happy home baking, and happy home baking for sale. A fine line, that if we are choosing to cross over. So when he asked me over and over, to write out the content for our website, and I struggled, I half expected him to lose it at me. But he stayed. Asked again. Wrote parts of it himself. And here we are, almost done. It’s been rather painful dealing with me, I realise. I’m furiously touchy about my ideas, headstrong about what I want to do with the baking. We’re as different as chalk and cheese, in this venture, as with everything else in life. And yet something makes him persist. It’s that inner core of calm, I think. The one that balances is out. The anchor that takes us both through.
Because he knows that deep down I want to do it, and maybe it will take some goading, some encouragement, some patience. To teach me the business ropes of it. Something that comes most naturally to him. Somewhere, I think he realises that we balance each other out. He is the brain, I am the hands. And he’s okay with that.
Most times VC is impatient as impatient can get. But sometimes, he is the epitome of patience. Thankfully, he chooses his moments well, refraining from bringing out the impatient instant-result-seeker. Because that might result in me demanding that he jump into the kitchen bake a perfect cake in one go. We don’t want that now, do we?
Apart from approaching life with a business plan, in order to achieve optimum results as efficiently as possible, VC is a constant source of support, understanding, love and erm.. entertainment. If you’re new around here, look this up to know why.