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In which I make some more excuses

24 Dec

There was a time not so long ago when the brightest ideas struck me when I was on the throne in the morning. Probably just early morning clarity, and lack of clutter from the day’s thoughts yet to arrive, that gives room for things to think and write about. Or it could also just be the purely cathartic nature of the business of taking a dump that brings lucidity, and makes space for these sometimes alarmingly astute thoughts.

It made me emerge from the bathroom feeling like a million bucks, (Dayyuumm, that was good!) and invariably I would proceed to give words to said bright thoughts, writing furiously and flippantly, hitting publish without giving it a second thought. But of late, something’s changed. For one, I’ve noticed that the nicest ideas strike when I am taking a bath. Almost like the the faucet above my head, spraying hot water is also sending out a sprinkling of way too many thoughts here and there, in the hope that I will catch it before it flows into the drain, along with strands of hair and the fragrant remnants of bath froth

I no longer appear out of the bathroom with that zen look of balanced accomplishment. No longer do I feel like I have caught that fleeting thought, pinned it in my palm, and like I am just waiting to rush to my laptop and release it. I feel more like I have been assaulted by a million thoughts, criss-crossing each other, while I struggle to nab one of them. An exercise that reminds me yet again that I have never been very good at any sport that required quick reflexes to catch objects flying towards you at dizzying speeds. However, on the rare chance that I have been quick to embed a passing thought in my head, I let it sit there and marinade. This ought to be a good thing, because it probably means the result is well thought out, articulate writing that literally emerged from thin air. But sometimes I let it sit in my head, for what now seems like far longer than is necessary, resulting in a smelly brain-fart that I try and then articulate, but just end up in the recycle bin.

If this seems like I am making more excuses, let be known that I am. I am officially in December mode. In between some manic baking, finishing up work before the holidays are upon me (yes, even those of us on a permanent holiday look forward to the time between Christmas and NYE) and expecting a last bout of houseguests tomorrow I have decided to stop trying to keep all these balls in the air, and let a few drop. Until the new year. Which I hope will bring some renewed madness with a method. Because right now I’ve lost that method.

I was writing a separate post on all those things that 2013 brought that I am thankful for, and all those things I hope 2014 will be. And it struck me, this definitely needs to go on that list. The first half of 2013 was a time when I wrote more than ever. Almost impossibly so, the second half has been just the opposite. When I’ve wanted to write, the words have evaded me. When the words came to me, they jogged my brain in sporadic, incoherent bouts. So while I’m wishing for more magic, better baking, more grounding and settledness in life and the like, I’d also like to ask for the wonder of my version of morning glory. That time to be with myself, to have a clutter-free mind just for some time, so I can snap those transient thoughts in place. God knows I need that release. Of words, of course.

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13 Responses to “In which I make some more excuses”

  1. d December 24, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

    Sorry another extraneous query- have you tried making dulce de leche? It sounds fairly simple but i’m wary of exploding cans

  2. Santulan December 24, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

    There there.. It happens to the best of us.. Since what you think and what bothers you is changing, your manner of processing them and then churning out brilliant words is changing as well..

    A good chocolate always cheers me up. Which reminds me.. PM me your address.. I wanted to send you a book

    • hAAthi December 24, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

      Oh gosh, I didn’t realise this post might seem like Im down in the dump aka not cheery. Because that is far from the truth :P This has been a month that began with me feeling “normal” and then kicking my butt with the workload all over again. But Iv been rather zen about it and decided that I cant do it all. Some stock taking and reprioritization is in order, but I’m not killing myself over it.. 2014 mein dekha jayega! Arrey what book, I dont take gifts from blogdosts!

      • Santulan December 24, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

        oh.. zen is yeay then :)

        And I have been meaning to send a book/chocolates to a bunch of blog friends..

  3. IMVI December 24, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

    How come am nevr able to access ur H&E site..

  4. vishalbheeroo December 26, 2013 at 3:02 am #

    Gosh I am reading you after ages and the fluid writing gets the better of me..wanna make me write more and more. Such things happen to the best of us when ideas fail us! So, that we bounce back with a bang.
    Merry X-Mas, Haathi
    V

    • hAAthi December 26, 2013 at 7:34 am #

      Thanks Vishal! Heres wishing you the same too :)

  5. nmaha December 26, 2013 at 10:30 am #

    No excuses needed. The last week of the year is magical and does not count as regular everyday time. Here’s hoping you get the clarity you’re seeking :-D

  6. R December 30, 2013 at 2:22 pm #

    Are you kidding me?!! Not one of your commenters picked up on the humor? Tch, tch, tch. See da, Rev, it is up to people like you and me to carry on this glorious tradition of such refined humor. Tcha, even the last line? No one commented on that also? That was a brilliant ending, btw :D

    • hAAthi December 30, 2013 at 4:12 pm #

      Haha, yeah nobody did. And I put it down to bad writing. It was one of those posts I just had to write, to get out of my system (NO PUN intended there, I assure you!). SO I wrote it. And yep, I still do that sometimes.. Heh

      Not sure about refined humor, because clearly it is not appreciated on the blog. But maybe I can lend stories and words to the likes of the creators of Captain Underpants hahaha

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Fragments of time | hAAthi - January 1, 2014

    […] for the next. But that, as you already know, is far from the truth. Because I made excuses like this, written lazy posts and also even wrote a dismal five posts one month (go on, click through to see […]

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