In between

So I’m stuck in the middle, in many ways. Work is on an extended limbo-like phase. I’m pursuing an opportunity that requires me to hold off on everything else I had going on. I’m waiting, and yet said opportunity is taking longer than anticipated to materialise. I’m 100% sure that if I drop it and accept the other smaller assignments in the waiting, I will immediately hear from the bigger one I was originally waiting on and then feel like a fool. So I continue to wait, and its really getting annoying to be stuck in the middle with no real idea of which direction to move in.

My routine is still floundering around in a state of disarray. Life has resumed in earnest, but functioning without that set routine back to the way things were is not easy. I need routine, it rules me. I let August go as my month off from normal life because I had so much happening, and ever since the maid-spat early this month, I have hired new help.  cheerful, sweet and hardworking girl who has also agreed to help me out in the kitchen. This is way more than I could ask for at this point because maybe I can finally free up some time and stop cribbing about never having enough of it. But on the downside, she is engaged till mid-day and comes to my home at 11. This new schedule is taking longer than I expected to get used to. I am used to having my house back in order before I go off to the gym in the morning, a routine that sets the rest of my day rolling. Now everything feels like its pushed back by two hours because the clean up only begins at noon. We’re both doing our bit to work around it, and deal with everything shifting by a couple of hours, which some times means the dishes lie undone till noon (which drives me slightly batty), and lunch happens later than usual (which just makes me ravenous) and then afternoon spills over into evening — basically a new routine. But when you’re a creature of habit like I am, the smallest change makes you feel like you’re stuck in the middle. I really ought to pick up and get going, but everyday I feel like I’m going against the grain and not really moving ahead.

The Hungry & Excited website is being revamped as we speak.  It was meant to be a 15 day project, but its taken more than 2 months. This is partly my doing, I got so busy with IFBM that I didn’t follow up as closely as I should have. And then I’ve been a bit scatter-brained about picking up and closing the loop. It’s almost done, and I’m happy with the way its turned out. THe minute it’s up and we’re set to go, I want to introduce two new cakes on the menu and start doing some small-scale local advertising. I’m exciting to hit play again, but I can’t do it until my website is actually fully ready and running. It also means I have to hold off on posting new posts, sharing anything else on the blog and generally moving on with normal programming. The wait is killing me. This neither-here-nor-there situation is really like being stuck in the middle of nowhere.

I’ve hit a roadblock as far as cooking goes. I’m constantly itching to eat something different and don’t always have the energy to whip it up myself. I find reasons to cop out of cooking a lot, or willingly let VC take over, or just be really bad and order in — and this is not normal in these parts. I feel like I’m not able to slip back to normal life, and it’s really beginning to annoy the crap out of me!Unable to move forward or backwards. Just stuck. Here in the middle, is where I am off late. It hasn’t helped that my home has been full ever since I came back form Bangalore at the start of August. I have underestimated the wonder that is having my own personal space. I love having people over, so I never imagined that 1.5 months of it would have stuck in the middle, not able to hit the pedal and get going with my life the way I know it.So I’m mostly just going with the flow. Doing things as I feel like, not planning my days too much and not thinking about it. I’m reading two cookbooks at once — if that qualifies as reading. Aparna Jain’s The Sood Family Cookbook has me wanting to bookmark every single recipe. Rushina Gildiyal’s A Pinch of This, A Handful of That, while not fabulous in a literary sense, does have a fair number of recipes I am itching to try. I have discovered a new love for recipe books, I realise. This is very new for someone who never makes a dish the same way twice.

I’ve resumed my training in full-swing and physically feel a lot better. Exercise sets a happy glow over most other things, making the limbo seem normal too. It’s good to have sleep, hunger and daily functioning back in order again. Cooking is a close second, and I’m almost there.

The only other thing I’ve been doing with a fair bit of regularity is helping VC churn out foodeo after foodeo. He’s working on them at top speed and I am almost afraid I won’t be able to keep up. Here’s the next — a makeshift Aubergine Lasagne — a lazy Sunday lunch that was as much fun to put together as it was to shoot, and then sit down and eat. It was the last meal the sister and us had together before she left and some parts of this film will always remind me of the epic month we just spent together.

And in honour of being stuck in the middle, and just going with the flow, this has been my track for the most part of t0day.


24 thoughts on “In between

  1. Pingback: Head vs heart, want vs need | hAAthi

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  3. ash

    this is how I do at home , we have no servants , I work ,my hubby also works ,I have a kid , hours are long ..we have a mortgage ..for a home in the best school district ..real responsibilities ..we volunteer at my kid’s school …live in San Diego …look up the housing prices
    …I still don’t think you can comprehend ..

    GROW UP ,already!

    It was a sincere tip but ….wasted on ..I wont be coming to ur website but I really do think you have pretty low IQ …to not recognize something valid :-))

    look at the bloggers around you mad momma etc they are living their life a far more rich/complicated /challenging life ..


    1. Last I heard from reliable sources you bitched Mad Momma out too — terming her and me “not genuine and pretentious” — so why should I believe what you say? Or pay any heed to your sincere tips?

      Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gives you the right to consider your life better or worse than mine just because you think your life is hard. Nothing gives you the right to give me sanctimonious bullshit in every comment just because you’re jealous of my happy, content life. If reading about it makes you so unhappy, you’ve always had the option to leave. I’ve been asking you to leave for a good long while, and despite hating this blog so much you keep coming back. Adios — good riddance to bad rubbish!


    2. OMG! Who is this person? and what’s with the free unsolicited advice? It’s not even a comment on my blog, and I’m still mighty pissed. Why would people give out details about their kids, and loans and schools and work if they weren’t somewhere unhappy and terribly insecure despite claims to having a very busy (but maybe unfulfilled?) life?


      1. Because EVERYBODY has a sense of entitlement these days. And cannot handle if there are people living their lives on their own terms, without being slaves to mortgages and societal pressures of having babies, raising them, sending them to private schools and what not. I dont know who this person is but I drew the line at this comment. Also gave up trying to explain my part because it seems like it would take a lobotomy and some kind of restructured upbringing to understand that there are other ways in which people can lead perfectly happy lives.

        Im glad that theres another person who found this comment pissing off :)


        1. Oh absolutely! Such people annoy me to no end. And I think I have seen similar comments spreading general negativity before as well. I would at least make an attempt to understand if such people were forced to read blogs and then made these comments. There’s just no way to explain these when they voluntarily visit. uggh!

          You’re right. EVERYBODY does have a sense of entitlement these days and not much common decency to stop for a moment and think that another person’s life is not your business. God!


          1. Thats the hilarious part. The returning all the time to come and tell me how much my life sucks :)

            As of today, this troll has chosen a different user id to comment, probably assuming I wouldnt notice the new garb. Unfortunately atrocious grammar and punctuation was a dead giveaway and I saw right through it. So yes, it is back today. Despite having declared here, that it will never be returning to my blog. The internet is filled to the brim with weirdos. My mind never ceases to be amazed.

            If I werent amused, I might have been a little more pissed.


            1. Ha ha ha. That is amusing and hilarious. I wonder how buy people have so much time to create a new id just to comment on somebody’s life that they don’t approve of.

              You know, sometimes, the sheer confidence with which people leave comments in public forums amazes me. I think 10 times before commenting anywhere,. And I am pretty sure that I would hardly ever say anything inflammatory or personal. And here these weirdos are. There was some random guy a few years back who sent me a very random e-mail. I asked him not to do that given that I didnt know him. And he actually argued and argued over how mean I was to not make him my friend. I just blocked the idiot.


              1. Email? Thats even more intrusive! At least a blog is a semi-public forum so by writing it, one assumes I am inviting comments. What kind of comments, is a different matter. But yes, lots of over confident idiots out there. Also lots of deeply unhappy, frustrated people to want to lash out at people they dont know, probably will never meet. I really thought about what kind of loneliness it must take to want to do that.

                I hemmed and hawed, feeling a little pity at first, and thought I shouldnt be rude etc, but I decided I didnt care. This is my space and I have the right to choose who I will tolerate and who I will send directly to the trash bin.


                1. Absolutely! People need to understand blogging etiquette, especially as readers of a personal blog. If you don’t agree with what a person is saying, either say so politely once or just don’t say anything at all.

                  It’s not just blogs you know, people keep doing in real life as well. There’s this guy at work who argues that you Delhi is the best. How can anyone have such an absolute opinion, and further still impose that on others. He just wouldn’t let anyone mention that they preferred another city. I generally make a really bad face and totally stop making eye contact with such people. :P They don’t exist after that point. :P


                2. Oh yeah, the FB idiot sent a private message. I was like, who the hell are you dude? My mistake really. I shouldn’t even have asked that and just blocked him then and there instead of giving him even a chance to say more. But I was younger and much more angsty then. :D


                  1. LOL, I have made the same mistake even with this troll. Should have just deleted every comment. Instead selectively chose to respond to some. Its like bait for them.. Now I know better.


                    1. It’s good that you didn’t delete the troll comments though. Gives a good glimpse into the different kind of people who are reading your blog ;) and also you get to know the general opinion that people have about things. Although you’d hope that people would find a better way of stating an opinion. Uff!


                    2. Yes. Civility is not a lot to expect. I have had disagreements on my blog and it has never gone to the extent of rudeness that this particular troll always stoops to. That’s where I draw the line. Also the willingness to accept multiple opinions or at least hear them out. We can agree to disagree but to come here and judge me and on the basis of this minute look into my life decide that I am useless and have a low IQ is a bit much. There’s absolutely no need for me to take that from anybody.


                    3. I know! I was shocked when I read that comment. I mean for someone to call another person’s IQ low, the least they could do is get the grammar and punctuation right! At least in that comment! :D


  4. lol at the above comment :D

    So do you have a basic marinara sauce that you make? I generally just throw in tomatoes, oregano, chilli flakes and basil.. that’s about it. But I have to say, somedays its not very pleasing to eat.

    So any sites or a recipe you refer to while making marinara sauces?


  5. ash

    since you are a chef ,this is what I heard a chef talk about a life in commercial kitchen their mantra is ‘clean as you go’.She said there is no place in the kitchen for ‘creative tornadoes’.

    As soon as something gets dirty , rinse/clean it up ,of course use you common sense and time yourself .I mean you cant clean something when you are doing tadka..obviously…so plates washed as soon as you finish eating ..etcetc makes ur life easier


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