Goa blues, they come

Slowly, but surely, I feel myself inching towards saturation with life in Goa. Every day brings with it a new challenge. The internet one day, cellphone network another, perennially useless roads, deteriorating power supply — with alarmingly large amounts of my daily time being spent fixing things. Dealing with service centres, talking to customer care, trying to understand the idiots who drive around this town. Every day, I find myself tired, exhausted and craving a little order. Where things just work. And I can focus on being productive, and less on trying to make everything work so I can be productive.

A large part of this has to do with the changes I’ve brought on for myself, really. For weeks and months, the sound of a sabbatical coming to a close has bubbled beneath the surface. A gentle murmur, never clamouring above the din. But steady, present and always making itself heard has followed me around. I’ve listened and steered along, doing the best I can to address it, feed it, satisfy it. It’s actually worked. And after what feels like aeons, I’m finally feeling back in the groove of the work thing. I’m almost afraid to say it, but I’ve been on a roll. Working longer days than I did when I was employed, having publications come back to me asking for work, getting closer to knowing my potential and the value of my words. And all that could be 3x more if I didn’t have to deal with so much staggering inefficiency on a daily basis.

And that. Is finally getting to me.

Goa blues, they come. I’m increasingly frustrated with the infrastructure, constant chaos and just how difficult it is to be a work-from-home person out here. Every other day I’ve caught myself wondered how long I’m going to be able to sustain this before I decide I’ve had enough. Several times a week, I imagine what life might be outside of Goa. Nebulous questions that spell out w-h-a-t-n-e-x-t when I sit down and patiently disentangle them, loom large and heavy like tantalising gray monsoon clouds that refuse to burst.

And yet for every few days that I brush aside mundane irritants, grit my teeth and plod on, a day like this comes along and wipes that slate clean, like some kind of natural re-boot.

IMG_0948

And some days when I’m wandering higher, in places I rarely go, I look out and realise just how much of this green, green place I have yet to explore. I don’t know how much longer this will remain – how long will green patches hold off?

Goa blues, they come.

IMG_0949

Already large chunks are making way for concrete dreams and an altered skyline. How long before we paint the town a dirty shade of grey? How long before we wipe down all evidence of character, history and a time gone by? How long before I decide I must up and go?

I’m here now and while the going may not always be good, the internet is mostly shit and my work takes 3 times as long as it really should, I remind myself that I still have the view.

Goa, you’re a frustrating, annoying thing. I do love you, but you’ve got to get your shit together, man.

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Goa blues, they come

    • Oh its always been hard to work here. Im just feeling it more intensely and increasingly frustrated because of the volume of work I have now. Like I told someone else this past weekend, Goa has given me A LOT, tangible and intangible things. Its changed my life, but like all experiences that come with an expiry, I think Im nearing the finish line on this one :) It should not kill your Goa dream. When I moved here I came half resigned to the hiccups, and it worked because I was in that space in life and in my mind, it didnt matter. Now Im done, and raring to go. Its a life-stage thing also, I feel.

      • I know. It’s just that I never thought that Goa was a place that people actually moved to and worked regular-ish jobs until I came across your blog. I guess regular office-goers have it better with infrastructure like Internet connections and the like.

        • Yes. The two years I was in an office set up, I didnt feel it as much. The husband *still* doesnt get what Im complaining about. But working from home, I have enough extra stuff on my hand, and could really do with the internet and power just holding up for the 10 hours that I need to work. And right now that is not happening. It wasnt so bad. I feel like the power situation has turned crap in the last 12 months. We now have daily powercuts, sometimes multiple in a day. I often call this my village, people think Im joking. I rarely am.

      • Also, have to add Goa is changing dramatically, and super fast. It is not the Goa I moved to in 2010. I suppose that was expected and is the natural direction for all developing towns to move in, but a lot of the basics that need to be fixed to take it from small town to city are not fixed yet. We’re moving ahead faster in terms of traffic, bigger cars more start-ups and enterprises etc, but still don’t have the roads, the power or infrastructure to support it.

  1. Well, Goa is changing. For the worse. With half of the place being owned by Dally and moronic MH people now. Also you live in a really bad part of town. On paper its the best place to live. In reality, its overhyped octopus poop. Move to a village for a few years. Things are way better. Panjim is becoming a mini Gurgaon. Yes, I’m exaggerating, but wait for a few more years.

    Lots of other things to discuss too. But maybe over some daaru. Will get in touch once we are back. Till then, keep suffering.

    • Actually your ‘exaggeration’ is not too far from the truth. Drive around my neighbourhood and you’ll definitely count more fancyass DL and HR cars than GA vehicles, for sure. That, reasons for it, and many other things though are a conversation to be had in person :) Come back soon, lets meet, really.

      Moving to a village is always on our minds, always on the cards. But Im kind of done ya. I really feel I can prolong this for 1-2 years more, bas. Uske baad I want to go somewhere where stuff works.

  2. I can sort of imagine where your blues are coming from.. but just wondering ..won’t the problems you face at home in Goa also be the problmes you face when you work from home somewhere else in the country.. or is there some lovely, utopian city where things work and no one has told me about it?!! :))

    • No man, I worked from Bangalore and Bombay last month, and it was a breeze. Im talking of basic infrastructural issues. Speeds are faster, I’d be closer to meeting the people I would, not to mention a wider scope for the kind of work I now do.

      Utopia doesnt exist, but at this point I’d like easier, than harder hehehe

  3. That grin on my face and that happy hum in my head as the cab trundled down a hilly corner and I came face to face with that lovely, green of the western ghats and that little jetty? It’s hard to forget that. And I am not joking when I say that I will come back to check out the Ribandar houses. But then I read this and I stop and wonder what deliverance we folks have. I want to find one rabbit hole and disappear. Sigh.

  4. I am the first time visitor of your blog. Looking for some recipes in my free time and ended here. Read your article.and like to write few words. I do know what you are talking about . The technology that you are using is not quit upto date in Goa. Specially the internet. But because of that you cannot say Goa is not good place to stay or work . In fact people from Bombay and Bangalore are opting the Goa as a better choice to stay and relax and work peacefully. If you are ok with crowd , pollution and safety than ya the big cities are good for technology. But sorry I feel bad if someone says Goa is not a good place to stay.

  5. Nice read. It’s not only Goa. Even my sleepy little district of Wayanad in N. Kerala is also changing. No options…just be a witness and move on..👍👍

  6. Pingback: Day 214: Cycling in the rain | hAAthi Time

Pour your thoughts over mine

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s