Random things I’ve thought about today

I am completely incapable of taking a compliment gracefully. I never know what to say or how exactly to react, most often resigning myself to the fact that I must end it all with a foot placed awkwardly, but firmly, in my mouth. I’m usually in awe of those who can and I wish I could learn the subtle way in which you accept a compliment like it’s the most natural thing in the world. There’s that. And then there’s the unique ability some people have, to pay someone a compliment, but to do it in a way that leaves them wondering if you’re insulting or appreciating them. That is a most special skill. One that I do not envy and hope I never pick up.

*****

Something about the weekend from hell (mentally, speaking) that I’ve just had, has strengthened my faith in VC. Actually its not just something. It is his ability to stand his ground and be his own person, despite everything his family has taught him and brought him up to be. I always knew he was quite the rebel at heart. Dead sure, almost cocky. Firm, determined, obstinate. Unwavering, digging his heels in and sticking to his guns as far as his choices and reasons for making those choices goes.

For all the times I go on about being brave, decisive and owning up for what is yours I cower in the face of potential confrontation or unpleasantness. I’m quite happy doing my thing as long as its not causing too much discomfort to those around me. If it does, I choose to go about it anyway, giving any hint of displeasure I might perceive a cold shoulder and not paying it the least bit of attention. I’d rather pretend I don’t see it, rather than face it and address it. I’m conveniently passive, like that. VC on the other hand, has turned into the true kind of bold, take-me-as-I-am soul. Of the kind of intensity I didn’t think was possible. And that takes a special kind of confidence, I’ve realised.

Something about the weekend from hell that I’ve just had, has raised my acceptance and appreciation for just what it takes and means for him to stand his ground. And to stick by me despite what his family may think or feel.

*****

I’m having such a surge of work, calling it a good run, a healthy spell seems inadequate. I’m also afraid to talk about it too much. I get sceptical and superstitious at the weirdest junctures in my life. I keep thinking I should create and update a work section here, so I can link up all the varied kinds of writing I am now doing, but something has stopped me from doing it. There is finally enough of it to show and more importantly, none of it is marketing/advertising and I think it’s important for me to document that, for myself more than anyone else. Last week, when I turned down an offer to sign a retainer for a monthly marketing writing gig, I knew I have finally reached the next milestone in my professional experience.

*****

This has been a year of almost perpetual wheels on my heels. I’ve travelled more for work and for myself, entertained a string of guests, been on the run even when I’ve been in Goa and it’s truly been a hectic nine months. So hectic that I honestly don’t have a clue how I’ve landed smack in the middle of September. That customary omigosh-this-year-is-zipping by feeling has hit me again. But this time, its not with the usual panic of not having accomplished much. This year, I’m satisfied. I’m pleased with the way things have turned out – it’s been a good balance of work and play and I’m happy to be riding the wave while it lasts.

*****

I’m going to be in Bombay this weekend and next month again travel beckons. I’m already slotting out my work for the next eight weeks. And this feel strange. I have never had to plan my freelance assignments so much in advance. Heck, I’ve never had a calendar that’s filled up so far into the future. Somedays I work longer hours than VC does, and some nights when he has to beg me to turn the computer off and come to bed, I know how the tables have turned. Is this what finding the sweet spot feels like?

*****

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