Day 165: About yesterday

It’s a fine line that divides solitude and loneliness. They’re almost two sides of the coin. If you’re not the kind of person who sees hectic people-centric activities as the obvious opposite to solitude, that is. It’s not often that you find the company of people with whom you can enjoy it all – solitude, loneliness, and some happy people-time, when you so wish. The past few weekends have defined a very desirable kind of solitude that I had missed for a while. Solitude, even in the presence of company. Weekends have been lazy and home-bound. They’ve been quiet. They’ve been aimless. Simple. And yet, they’ve done the job of weekending perfectly.

VC has been around and I think we’ve both made deliberate attempts to veg-out, which has resulted in ample lazing around and unwinding, either binging on a book, movies, or youtube, like I did the past two days.

Maybe it’s a sign of how streamlines work is getting, but I am unable to even open up anything work-related, even in the rare case I feel extra efficient and like I want to get a head-start. The last two weeks have seen such a surge in productivity, and I’ve gotten so much done that I am a) too wired-out to think of work on the weekend and b) left with none of those little scraps of work that once inevitably were left for the weekend.

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So, there has been time to watch questionable amount of TV. To go slow on a book, read the same one all day. To binge. There have been leisurely visits to the market. Extra long afternoon naps; indulgent, home-cooked meals. Impromptu dessert runs.

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Sometimes an evening walk or drink by the sea. Early dinner so we can get right back into bed and finishing watching whatever it is we each were.

I don’t have this luxury of just peacefully co-existing with too many people. the comfort of not having to fill the silence, the moments and everything in between with conversation and activities. To just be in the same room, each left to our own devices (heh, pun totally intended!).

But yesterday, we bothered to step out. And go beyond our usual, convenient spot. It’s a spot I find myself going back to at least once every monsoon.

The plan was to go out and get a drink, possibly even dinner after the sun went down. But a combination of laziness, and a rumbly tummy for VC made us wind up back home. Back into my night clothes, in bed, watching Netflix, waiting for my Chinese take out to arrive. We often talk of companionship only in terms of getting along with each other, doing things together, being a team. Such an emphasis on the doing, and not enough on the not doing. The passive, fuss-free, empty moments deserve so much more importance. It is a true luxury to realise peaceful coexistence/

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