Solitude is a recurring theme and a very important part of my life. making time for myself, to be with myself, away from the humdrum of the regular routine really keeps me going. Without a dose of it every now and then, I feel depleted and overwhelmed. I am constantly working hard to balance the busy times with some down time, hyper-social times with down time, being wired and having some more down time to counter it. This began quite unconsciously when we moved to Goa, and life kind of forced us to scale things down and look inwards for company. To enjoy my own company, to find things to occupy me, rather than merely fill time and to do those things all on my own. And it happened quite easily.
Today, it takes deliberate attempts to create that space for myself. From little things in my routine like making sure I finish work at a stipulated time and power off my laptop and ensuring that I have no spill-overs into the weekend, to other things like consistently pruning my facebook to cut out the virtual noise and choosing to be around friends who make allow space for quiet forms of companionship, rather than a hectic, outgoing noisy outpouring of feelings at all times. That takes effort. It takes making rules, drawing boundaries and knowing when to step back and recede into the quiet space I’ve created for myself.
The reason the effort is worth it, though, is I have experienced the immensely beneficial effects of it. It is calming, centring and helps me drop roots every now and then. To stay, when everything around me is fleeting and fast spinning out of control. To remain still, when time is flying by too fast. To savour the present, when constant planning for the future consumes me. There’s plenty that can be said about the joys of solitude. To know that you can be on your own, without being lonely.To remain a little disengaged from time to time. To enjoy your own company. To do the things you want to, without the need for anyone or anything for motivation, companionship or acknowledgement. But mostly I’ve realised it’s about finding it in yourself, to be enough.