Day 164: Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to

Another day. Another breakfast. Another conversation about going back to our roots. To a simpler, pared-down, more gut-driven, mindful way of life. A message (in its various forms and interpretations) that seems to be coming at me from every direction — in things I read, in conversations I’m having, in the choices that are coming up for me, in the things that impact my choosing, in the ways that I am indulging in the choosing — in every single aspect of my life, whether exercise or food or travel or the way in which I am one half of a coupling or the way I feel like my home should run to the way in which I want to be.

Today, once again, a conversation with A reminded me how much the intellectualised narratives we expose ourselves (and unconsciously, unquestioningly internalise and make our own) to can add to the chatter in our minds and the muddled sense of right and wrong vis a vis what is right and wrong for us, per se. And how much nonsense gets in the way of just humbly following that sense.

I feel grateful for the ways in which this simple reminder keeps coming at me. And Im so utterly thankful to be in a space where I have the capacity to listen, and really act accordingly.

Two years ago: Day 164: How blue?

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5 thoughts on “Day 164: Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to

  1. Your second paragraph hits me like a ton of bricks.
    The narratives we create in our lives more often complicates our thinking than not. I’ve been thinking this a lot lately too.

    1. Tell me more? I ask because Im curious, since this has been the theme of my life these past 6 months or so. Feel free to tell me to bugger off if youre not comfortable sharing :)

      1. Not uncomfortable, it’s just a lot of thoughts to put into a comment.

        A couple of years back, I hit a roadblock in my marriage, and spiraled into all kinds of emotional crap. I considered psychiatric help, I turned to religion, neither helped. Then I discovered mindfulness – and while indulging in it, recognized that my problems, while very real, were not as big as I made them out to be in my head. I understood that with a seed of a plot, I weaved reams of narrative and fiction, to the point that I could not differentiate between the actual issue and my mental stories about it. The mental image I repeatedly got during my meditation practice was of a cotton candy, spun out of a single crystal of sugar. Understanding it is one thing, realising is something else. It took a full year of mindful living and breath control to ground me in the present and stop spinning yarns in my head.

        I am glad I went through all that crap. Even now, I indulge in intellectualized narrative of circumstances, as you beautifully put it, but I recognize it soon enough, and let it die out through breathing.

        1. Ah, yes I hear you.

          More than just the narratives that blow our issues out of proportion though, I’ve experienced the ideas that I’ve inculcated through reading, social media, my upbringing even, and general chatter around me, far complicate the process of healing and getting better because I have to first undo the ideas in my head before I get down to figuring out what I *really* feel about it.

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