To remember a day that was meant to be free, but that ended up being anything but. And had me running from one thing to the next. Quite happily, so.
This week, I’m feeling very grateful for my body. For quietly and relentlessly enduring everything that I throw at it — good, bad and the wide fluctuations in between.
I’m grateful for yoga and the continual quiet it provides. I’m grateful for the return of the confidence and the enjoyment of eating well. I’m grateful for the sense to allow myself everything, unabashedly. For the faith that my body will intuitively know when to stop. And that I should just listen.
I’m grateful for Amma who continually provides even when it isn’t asked for. I’m especially grateful for the hot meals and the companionship in the exercise department.
I’m grateful for the basic nuggets of truth she sometimes pops, so matter of factly. While discussing low rise pants versus high rise ones, and admitting to how I much prefer the latter these days, I declared, “I’m just getting old.”
Her response, a calm, “No you’re just sensible.”
I’m grateful for friendship. For the surprising connections. The return of what I thought was done and dusted. The sudden developments. The opening up of new possibilities.
I’m grateful for the assignment I closed yesterday for the sense to give it my all and deliver on time, going a little above what was expected of me. I’m filled with gratitude and a sense of humility for whatever else that’s at play here — in bringing this work to me so suddenly — for how it has presented exciting new avenues so quickly.
I’m grateful for conversations with S. And with R. And for breakfast with A, this week. For the affirming, solid conversations that crystallise my resolve. And steer me in places I haven’t ventured before.
I’m grateful for the permission I’m suddenly giving myself to imagine a life that until very recently felt like a distant, impossible dream that was too-good-to-be-true.
I’m grateful for freedom. For how VC has my back. For how he takes my side and stands by it.
I’m grateful for the journey it has been to get here and see things this way. Today, I’m also grateful for loss. Because I had a moment today where I realise how much I have shed, left behind, lost and released from myself in order to gain all of this and take everything that is coming my way.