The urge to get moving again actually surfaced one fine evening on my last trip here in Goa. It’d been a year long time of hibernation, near nil movement until then, with all the classic signs of sloth that I have never really seen in myself in all my life. The inability to wake up in the morning, taking so long to surface, the idea of exercise or even just movement feeling like a drag. Coupled with this was an unquenchable appetite, that I now think was partly emotionally charged. I was eating large quantities of ALL THE THINGS.
Somewhere around November of last year, I began taking long walks with D on Sundays in Bangalore, and maybe that was the beginning of it. Even so, it took a lot of effort to push myself out of bed one day a week, and I couldn’t get myself to stretch that enthusiasm for even one more day.
Possibly the one good thing in all of this has been my complete refusal to push myself, and the acceptance of things as they were. Yes, deep down it did bother me that this sort of fundamental shift was in the works. I wondered if I will ever be the exercise buff that I used to be. Have I stopped caring completely? Will I ever have the morning energy like I used to again?
Just as I was settling into a deeper state of acceptance that maybe that phase was well and truly over and it’s time to usher in a slow, non-moving one, something stirred again. And I’ve just listened, gone with it and been at it ever since — yoga every other day, a walk or a run every other day, sometimes an short power extra walk or run in the evening additionally if my energy and time allows it, and that long walk on Sundays.
Almost naturally, my food intake has become more mindful too. I’m convinced the two go hand in hand now, because without much effort I find my portion sizes becoming more appropriate. I used to be a big breakfast eater, that’s changed. I’m easily satiated at lunch and dinner too. The only real effort I’ve put is in quitting sugar to a large extent. I skip it in my chai and coffee, I’ve been mostly off dessert, though I’m not being ultra strict about this either. I have allowed myself the odd hot chocolate or jalebi, when the opportunity strikes. But overall, I feel like I’ve found a rhythm about my body — of being tuned in and being able to listen. This is new too.
And so, in an effort not to break the healthy streak in Goa, I came prepared. With my sneakers, exercise clothes and yoga mat in tow. I hit the road this morning, and walked a speedy 6k in an hour, came home and did a few suryanamaskars and I FEEL SO GOOD.
I don’t have a very great locale to walk/run in, unfortunately. Not one that I have discovered as yet anyway. I’m located just off a highway that’s currently under construction, so it’s just miles and miles of dust and rubble. But I didn’t want to let that stop me. I plugged in my new Bonobo faves compilation and went for it.
The morning views around this home aren’t a patch on what I used to have earlier, but it’ll do. I feel like this time around I’m not going to give up so easily.