Two things

1) Took an auto to class this morning, and it came with a super-cute prop, pre-installed.

Smol person in big shorts, with big, bright eyes and little teardrop dangly earrings to boot, sitting as far away from me as possible, plastered to the edge of the seat, holding on to the rail with complete faith.

There was something so soft and tender about sharing that auto ride with this little person (who came with no explanations) this morning.

I’ve been feeling a slow but certain softening up from the wound-up, high-stress state that I have been in the past many weeks. Every day, a little something shifts. I experienced it in the openness of a post-rain sky, in the the grounding of routine, in a full day’s rain and a day that went pleasantly out of control.

Today, this moment of tenderness was a game-changer. It set me up for a day of much more softening, of loosening my grip, of letting my breath out, of relaxing a little.

Much like a child who has found a safe space again.

***

2) Today has given me several resounding reminders about the place and need for more surrender in my life. This is something I have encountered in various degrees of intensity many times before, and I’m so aware it is not something I can accomplish, tick off the list and move on.

The message came back to me today. Loud and clear. To surrender. To everything, with a real, felt, internal sense of everything being exactly the way it should be. This is of course much easier said than done, but with every consecutive revolution that I make of this abstract concept that draws me back from time to time, I feel I know it just that little bit better, and I see something new about how and what to surrender to, emerge for me.

This time around it is an ask to step up. To open my heart out. To believe in myself. To take a leap of faith.

And for a change, unlike most other times, this time somewhere deep within me, is a tiny voice saying, you can do this, you’ve got this.

One year ago: If you, if you could return
Three years ago: Gym rant

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