So. Long before this round of “please stay home” began, I’ve been feeling a bit like my attention span is shrinking. It’s been on a downward trend since the fag end of last year of course, but I have hit an all new recently. My focus on the only thing that I could engage with for long periods of time — my laptop — is also now dwindling.
I was ready to get out and be untethered from my screen, in more ways than one. and this reigning myself back is proving very hard lately. I’m not taking it well. I know it’s the right thing to do, and I’m able to rationalise it exceptionally. My mind gets it, and I am acting the part. But inside, I am conflicted. I want out.
And so I’m turning once again to exercise and cooking something everyday, to ground me and bring some stability to my days. I didn’t plan this. Exercise has been steadily on for a while now, but the cooking has made a steadfast return.
At this point, I’ll take anything that helps me not doomscroll and have my eyes peeled at Instagram for an unhealthy number of hours at a stretch, when I’m not working.