It’s been a summer holiday like month. Relaxed, very unhurried, travel, mangoes, afternoons spent guzzling books, plenty naps that have shot my sleep cycle to bits. Summer vibes and May feels all round. Some things I’ve loved about this oh-so-strange and up and down month:
- Another birthday! Another beginning.
- A whole week in Goa, for the time out, for the realisations that came from it. For the opportunity to do another workshop. For the shifts that came from that. For the dogs. For the week spend with D, and the hangs with Niyu and K and the unexpected girly fun I had.
- A whole week in Thailand, for obvious reasons — the beach, the food, the holiday. For the opportunity to hang out with R, S and H in a way that I won’t have in Bangalore. For the scuba diving. For the taste of reality, and affirmation of some truths I have known. For getting the family trip done so the pressure won’t surface for a while now. And mostly, for showing myself that I can bend a little, relax a little, let go of my aversions a little, and do things I don’t always like to do but sometimes need to do, and still have fun while I’m at it.
- A true and complete taste of both VC and I being funemployed, together: ever since VC joined me in my state of funemployment, he’s been the disciplined one taking himself to his co-working space everyday. He’s the man with a plan, even when there’s nothing to be done. But we took May off from normal programming, owing to all the travel and conveniently being between projects. I always imagined we’d be the sort of couple who cannot live under one roof all the time, because we’d get in each others hair (and maybe in another time, we
would havedid) but things have obviously changed. And I was pleasantly surprised to find myself telling him today that I have really enjoyed having him around. We’ve been sleeping in, waking up late, running off for breakfasts out, catching morning movie shows on Mondays, having impromptu work talk and meetings right in the comfort of our living room, we’ve cooked together, eaten more meals together this month than probably all this year, and somehow managed to enjoy the togetherness as much as give each other space to potter about as we please. This is a first, and I’m glad we had the chance to try it out, and be surprised, before he begins a new phase of work in the new week and new month on Monday.
- All the time I ended up spending at home. I managed to do some long, long pending spring cleaning, sorting and disposing of stuff I’ve needlessly carried around for decades. Cupboards were cleared and space was made. But it was also remarkably cathartic, in a way that really reinstated how much I’m ready to move on.
- The unplanned amounts of sleep I’ve got. It’s confused the shit out of me, and left me feeling very lethargic and lazy, but I suppose at this point it is what was needed and I’m glad it was a month free from all else, so I could just give in and rest.
- The unexpected income.
- The little bursts of clarity, that have shone through much of the haze. This will be a month to remember, no matter what I say or think about it right now. I just know it’s going to be a month I will look back on, maybe, 6-8 months from now and think oh yes, that’s what it was all about, and that’s where it all started.