Monday Tarot Message: Reimagining love

The Ace of Cups typically speaks of romantic love. But lately, I’ve been drawn to examine love outside this stereotypical association alone.

Love, like all emotions, is like water. It will find a way to flow. It can either refresh and give life, if tended to nurturance; or it can flood and destroy, if suppressed and withheld.

This is an invitation to revisit love in a time when building walls around our hearts and saving up our love only for people exactly in the same camp as us, is the norm.

Growing a positive and nurturing attitude towards love begins within each one of us. With noticing what makes us clam shut and close our hearts up. Why we give up connection and empathy so easily, even when we’re neurologically hardwired to connect and belong. And to examine the deeply held prejudices that block love from flowing. Conversely, what makes us open up and express love to those with whom we have a sense of sameness and commonality.

Can we learn to let love flow freely again, as the necessary component of structural compassion and empathy our communities so desperately need right now? How else can we reorganise our world to move past the growing divisions that split and keeps us apart?

What role does love then play, in a world constantly being served up hate, differences and distinct polarities? How can we reorganise the notions, practice and expressions of love so it allows for:

  • examination of our deeply held prejudices that block love from flowing freely
  • compassion for the varied experiences of the other, completely different from the ones we know.
  • justice for those wronged by an inequitable system.
  • empathy for circumstances our privilege will never allow us to touch
    closer-knit, self-contained communities.
  • courage for a less fear-driven way of connecting with each other.
  • a broader sense of wanting a better, equitable and ecological world beyond our little cubbyholes.
  • the ability to making space for all expressions and kinds of love across the spectrum.

Just questions today. No ready-made, neatly summed up answers. Because some answers don’t come easy and sometimes we’d do well to sit with the discomfort of *not* knowing, with confronting the messy work of pulling existing structures apart, not having quick answers, immediate opinions and perfect fixes. Then, maybe we can begin to rebuild.

One year ago: Stillness
Two years ago: I choose to be happy
Three years ago: What coming home feels like: revisiting old haunts
Four years ago: Holiday vibes

Monday Tarot Messages: Befriend difficult emotions

Periods of turmoil usually bring great inner unsettlement and a loss of peace of mind. This is natural when old foundations (of anything) are being shaken to make way for the new. An essential part of authentic growth that challenges established orders — within and without. A process that is inherently not without turmoil, despair, grief and fear.

By themselves, these are not problematic. What makes us believe they are is the agitation that actually comes from resistance to feeling these emotions. The more we fight them, the more we allow them to hijack us. And they do. In that sense, we cannot avoid feeling difficult emotions if we intend to grow from our experiences of strife. What we can do instead, is learn to be agile with our emotions, befriend them, so we feel without carrying the heaviness.

Distress in times of strife comes from our inability to meet grief, which is such an integral part of renewal or growth. We fear grief as a heavy, cumbersome emotions that is best avoided. And we march on, investing a great deal of effort into being stoic and putting up a brave front. But if we do not grieve what we are letting go (good, bad and all of it) we cannot welcome what is waiting in the wings.

Learning to feel, rather than think about emotions, not judging them as conditions that need fixing, is one way to welcome them. Then, we may embrace them for the crucial role they play in making us vulnerably human. As the thinking, feeling, heart-throbbing spirits that we are.

Think about the term “falling prey” to emotions. It implies an attack that must be avoided in our attempt to be free. While actually, the avoidance lands us in conflict, distress and disease. When we meet emotions and everything that they make us feel, without resistance, there is an opportunity to grow. There is an opportunity to move through, rather than bypass the full gamut of the experience.

This might just be the single thing that differentiates feeling feelings rather than suffering them. Or as N wisely said to me last week: “being kidnapped by feelings.”

What thoughts have been keeping you up at night lately? They might carry clues about the emotions you are fighting, that are asking to be let in? What can you do to welcome them in the days to come?

PS: quite uncannily connected to my process and thoughts around befriending tenderness, so I can feel feelings.

One year ago: Away   
Two years ago: Nobody really likes us, except us 
Three years ago: Just breathe   
Four years ago: Hit by a crippling case of travel excitement

Monday Tarot Messages: Rest, in a culture of busyness

I am a product of the “grind culture” that demands, glorifies and rewards a work ethic that equates unrelenting productivity with passion and hard work. It has taken me years to realise my instinctual attitude to work is actually quite different. When I allow myself to listen, I can be productive even when I work less, slower and in short, focused bursts. When I allow myself to listen, I realised my idea of ambition is quiet and self-sufficient, more internally-focused. And that it includes the value of having ample time to rest in ways that I please.

As a result, it has been hard to find a place and fit-in to the working world. This was so difficult to digest for so many years, early on, as I bounced from one workplace to another, trying to find a fit where I could rest easy, knowing that I’d be valued for the work I did during work hours, and where I didn’t have to feel guilty for wanting and having a life outside of work. My self-worth took a severe beating, because i constantly equated it with how productive and driven I was in the workplace. And very often, I didn’t really feel as “driven” as my peers.

Only recently, I realised that everything that I believe about work, success, hard work, passion and ambition (and conversely, rest) is a construct of a capitalist, patriarchal framework. That favours work over rest, teaching us that rest is to be earned thru hard work, and that unplugging will put us behind in the race.

So we devalue rest. And we oversell the hustle. But this is unsustainable. As most current studies on this will show. Everywhere you look, a culture of relentless work has made us physically and emotionally unhealthy. With the accent always being on doing, we have forgotten to pay attention to our being.

Examine your relationship with rest today.
What is your natural pace?
How much permission do you allow for it?
How comfortable is it to rest?
Do you feel guilt, shame or like you have indulged, when you rest?
Or do you feel renewed and alive?
Is zero work-life balance masquerading as loving your work?

Most of us, women especially, carry shame around resting, feeling useless and eroding our self-worth every time we choose rest over productivity.
Today’s card is a call to reset your natural relationship with rest. To begin to release the shame around resting.

The needs of the body are a good place to start. Pay attention to your body, notice if it is asking for more sleep, or gentle tenderness, or a calming practice of some kind. Maybe tend to your sleep cycle, get some hygiene in place. Or perhaps tune back into natural rhythms — the moon, seasons, weekends — as markers of tuning down, turning in.

Remember, you don’t have to wait for permission to rest. You will not fall behind. You will not miss out. You will not end up with less. You can rest.

One year ago: Within me
Two years ago: Come on, keep me where the light is
Four years ago: The good in us

Meeting ground

My mind has been swimmingly full of thoughts about everything that’s going on in the world. The great divisions, the poles we exist in, the massive grief of all the events that are just snowballing one after another.

what else is life,
if not loneliness and silence?

I watched Nasir (it was available for a limited time only on the We Are One youtube film festival) on the weekend, and I’ve been trying to encapsulate what it made me feel, but I just don’t have the words. In fact after the film ended, I just went quiet. Shut my laptop and sat in silence for the longest time.

So I’m just going to say this: what the film left me with was a visceral experience of how normal and mundane, regular, everyday, fear and marginalisation is for someone who belongs to a minority group in this country. Life is ordinary, and that includes the fear. The uncertainty becomes so regular, something to live and accept and fight every single day, even while trying to live a normal life and do things like hold down a job and keep your family safe and afloat.

And then I got drawn into the community mobilisation activity. A week of planning, and three days of delivering car-fulls of food and supplies to hungry, gutted migrants who just want to go home, was and experience like tearing my heart open to the pain that this country is currently facing.

And then there is what’s happening in America. Which feels so so so familiar and eerily similar to our own fight from December through March. N asked for a reading and as always it turned into a freewheeling conversation that was as important for me, as it may have been for her. We had a long, powerful chat that stayed with me long after and I woke up with thoughts.

What is the meeting ground, in times of such violence and polarisation? Where can we hope to create space for union and connection?

Many found space and form in my word salad from yesterday. And the rest, in a bonus card that I pulled more as a memento of the conversation we had. To mark and remember it because it was an important one for me.

This is your reminder, that is possible to:

  1. Feel extremely heartbroken by injustice, AND hopeful at expressions of truth to power. Feel them both, keenly and deeply.
  2. Hold the very best intentions of allyship, but ALSO have a lot of scope for learning and improvement. Listen more to those you wish to support.
  3. Be keenly aware of all your flaws, AND still be kind to yourself. Both have a place.
  4. Know a lot about many, many things, STILL have absolutely no idea about some other things. Be open to learning from those who do.
  5. Desire peace and harmony, while ALSO (unconsciously)hold polarising politics. Examine and watch yourself closer.

One year ago: Spaces in-between
Four years ago: New tricks

Monday Tarot Messages: Share the load

Sometimes, the burdens we carry, we carry not because nobody else will; but because we aren’t able to allow ourselves to put them down so others may have the chance to pitch-in, help, do their share of the work.

Observe and introspect on the balance of giving — physically and emotionally — in the significant relationships in your life today. What burdens do you tend to carry, what roles and responsibilities do you automatically take, what kind of dynamics do you most find yourself drawn into, across relationships?

This feels like a message especially for me, on the heels of a particularly challenging week in terms of love and friendship in my life. A week in which I became aware of my tendency to take on certain burdens that I have assumed come from my love and caring for someone, but are sometimes just my inability to say no to bullshit, or my proneness to believe I am inherently too much for my friends to handle and so to take the entire responsibility of backing away. Which is effectively me choosing inauthenticity in order to maintain a status quo. Doing this takes a lot of exhausting labour out of me, and most often doesn’t fetch me the results I am looking for. Leaving me bitter, unhappy and lonely.

Emotional dynamics in relationships should ideally be shared more or less equally, in order for the relationship to flow in a harmonious way. But sometimes the balance goes askew to facilitate something else. For example, the control or holding of power can lie with the person who does the bulk of the labour. We sometimes choose to take the entire responsibility as a means to control or steer a relationship in a certain direction.

Or it can be easy to delude ourselves about the true health of a relationship, as long as we keep engaging in “doing the work”. This labour unfortunately is then not going into healing or growing the relationship, but in keeping it from falling apart. A subtle, but important difference.

To lay down unnecessary burdens requires a high degree of honesty. When we engage with that, we are invited to get deeper in touch with our authentic selves. And we are encouraged to show up as we are. It helps us see what we can and absolutely cannot do, what burdens we can and cannot take, what roles we can and cannot perform, in a relationship. And what emerges from there is connection in a true form, free of roleplaying and people pleasing.

This process has been particularly challenging, and a painful one for me this past week as it has meant confronting some of my own judgements around the sharing of emotional labour and how I view people’s reasons for staying or remaining in relationships that have long passed their expiry date.

Taking responsibility for only as much as we can and realistically want to and should do, is an act of deep humility and respect. For the self, primarily, but also for the other. Learning this is to allow freedom, for love and connection to flow freely, and for a respectful, mutually balanced dynamic to emerge between people.

One year ago: All heart and all soul   
Two years ago: When the rainy days are dying   
Four years ago: Workspace

Monday Tarot Messages: Adversity is healing

I do my best to have these Monday messages up in the morning, completely unsure if it makes a difference to anyone but me. But I don’t always succeed because many Mondays are manic. This week I’m back in class, starting today (online *eyeroll*), so the delay.

***

It’s common notion to think of transitions and transformation, especially on the heels of adversity, to be like jumping hurdles. Some struggle, a big jump, and there you are. Transformed. So often, we emerge from challenging periods in our life with new mottos like “positive vibes only” or “happiness at all costs”. And while that has it’s place, sometimes it pushes us to unconsciously avoid the challenges and hurdles that may come up for us ahead.

Growth, self-development, transformation is a journey without an end point. If jumping hurdles is the analogy to take, then it’s a process of continuously jumping hurdles while taking the time between them to process and integrate. There is no arriving, rather continuously journeying. Hitting rock bottom, scaling hurdles time and time again. And to that extent, the journey requires some adversity, a healthy degree of frequent challenges. Situations that stretch us. Situations so intense that they quite literally kill an old self, so a new self may emerge. Transformed.

The Eight of Cups speaks of journeying into the dark unknown. Dire straits, points of no return, the worst experiences. Rock bottom. It’s where realise how little we know, and how much there is for us to grow. In feeling unprepared and unsettled is often the healing.

We don’t look at healing as a means to avoid pain and confusion, rather opportunities to gradually build our agility to be able to meet and engage with adversity in a healthy way. So much opportunity for healing lies in the darkness. Go there. So you may emerge, healed and transformed.

***

If we make healing all about engaging only with what feels good and comfortable, we risk losing out on the potential to grow from facing adversity. But when we make intentional and conscious living an ongoing focus, we open ourselves up to adversity, and we build the emotional agility to challenge, heal and transform through the testing, gruelling periods of unsettling territory before finding settlement in new ways.

Because life isn’t uniform or linear, we should expect and prepare to hit rock bottom. For it is where we let go of old tricks and bravely discover new answers. There are essential lessons in allowance, to be found in adversity.

Letting go of safe shores and getting to be okay with the wholly unfamiliar, unsettling and often devastating places the journey may take us to, is often the path to emerging into enriched versions of ourselves.

One year ago: Boundaries
Two years ago: May
Three years ago: Changing seasons
Four years ago: Period story and writing lessons

Monday Tarot Message: Finding walking fine lines and finding intuitive balance

The two of Pentacles speaks to me me of duality, of course. But today it reminds me of fine lines, double-edged swords, two sides of a coin. How sometimes polar opposites have just a hair’s breadth between them.

That’s how it is in the various emotional balancing acts we perform too. A whisker of a margin between keeping safe and keeping away. Between drawing boundaries and keeping the world out. Between being cock-sure and cutting out new possibilities. Between loving solitude and feeling isolated. Between enjoying stillness and getting getting stuck.

The harder we cleave to the poles or extremes of any practice, the quicker we are to land in a rigid, inflexible place that will inevitably be detrimental to growth. Growth requires flexibility and movement, the space for change, to even change your mind sometimes. Even about “healthy” habits.

It’s true of the opposite too. It’s a fine line between allowing a natural relaxation of a healthy habit and actually slipping into unhealthy territory again. Between consciously, mindfully transgressing a habit and being in denial about the underlying process influencing it.

Today’s card makes a case for understanding and compassion for the parts of us that tend to cleave to any state in a rigid, unchanging manner. We do this mostly do this as a means to stay safe, but compulsive safety-seeking at the cost of all else indicates that there is something deeper we probably need to look at so we can arrive at a more soft and gentle means to heal and move beyond our limitation.

The work is to find a balance through intuition. To open up the self-limiting processes and beliefs we may hanging on to, in the name of health. To soften and invite allowance. To befriend that inner knowing that can show us the way and tell us when to eat that cookie if you need it, when to take a break from therapy, when to binge-watch that TV show, when to take a day off.

Two years ago: High by the beach
Four years ago: Back to base

Monday Tarot Message: On desire (and listening in)

There is something so compellingly hopeful about Aces, signifying new beginnings, ripeness of potential, fresh inspiration, new journeys. All Aces, but especially the Wands, speak to me of the fire in my belly. It reminds me to tune in to my desires, of all kinds.

Two things can happen with that energy. When we’re accustomed to listening to our own voice, we may run with it, fuel the fire and stoke it till it consumes us and changes something elemental about us. If we are governed more by external voices, we run the risk of dousing it completely. Usually for fear of failing, or not feeling gratified, or displeasing someone, amongst other things.

Desire is often looked at as “bad”, for making us “self-serving”. But it is worth becoming curious and interested in them because our desires are our inner voices showing up. When we listen often enough, we begin to get good at telling which desires to put energy into, and which ones to let slide.

Rules, expectations and externally perceived ways of being usually feed our conditioning and socialisation, teaching us to quell our desires. Those “bad” things that make us stray from what’s best for the greater good. And so we avoid focusing on ourselves, we stay within the lines, play safe. And in that way, we minimise our desires and our bypass intuition.

Our real work though, is to get intimate with desire, with the heart of our inclinations, the inner throbbing nucleus unmet aspiration. So we can discern what makes our spirits shine, heats sing and fills us with life. And then we can run with it. When we engage with our desires in this way, we build the capacity to chase what is good for us. What brings harmony and alignment, and feeds our soul.

How does it feel to just listen to your desires? Even before you act on them, can you just listen? Without speculating. Without labeling or judging them. What do you need, so you do that without worrying about whether it is useful, productive, efficient, realistic, prestigious or lucrative enough?

Desire can be one of the greatest teachers, in meeting your true self. Can you listen?

Two years ago: Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Four years ago: Fairy lights

Monday Tarot Message: The Establishment vs. The Self

The Hierophant is the male counterpart of the High Priestess, and represents the Establishment, conventional rules, fundamental principles and belief systems that govern acceptable ways of being in any group or system. It could be a workplace, friends circle, family system, society, country at large.

I also see him as a gatekeeper of a deep spiritual ability to guard our Authentic Self. An advocate of necessary rule-breaking as a way of living, that while in keeping with the Establishment’s values, upholds asking difficult questions about what values we are chasing personally.

The Hierophant reminds us of be aware of the difference between:

  1. group values and personal values
  2. rules that make us rigid and take us away from, versus those that are soft and more aligned with our personal values
  3. rules that serve Belonging versus Personal Individuation

All groups have said and unsaid rules that govern who gets to belong and who doesn’t. These could vary wifely and include things like:

  1. I must always be happy and positive
  2. I must be married by age 30 and bear least 2 children
  3. I must not grow a beard
  4. I must be religious.
  5. I must not be emotional.
  6. I must choose security over satisfaction and join the family business

Following such (And other) rules unquestioningly definitely ensures a secure place within the group, but the Hierophant reminds us to stay akin with our spirit, to know when the rule following is coming at a great personal cost. This happens often, when our personal values and group values collide, causing tension.

Life requires building an appetite for healthy rule-breaking, knowing when to question the norms, how to navigate them in a useful way in order to construct a life that is personally satisfying too.

Serving the group ticks the right boxes, satisfies the ego and brings external appreciation. Whereas serving the Self is a quiet process with no outward accolades. Individuation asks us to question the rules, to break down established constructs and reconstruct them when necessary.

Questioning established rules is also to call for change — a deeply unsettling prospect for the majority. To be the one that bucks the rules of the system is invariably seen as being selfish and self-serving. And so it requires being okay with meeting displeasure and unease from the other. It requires the ability to face being judged, disliked and to be unacceptable. To be keenly comfortable with fear, uncertainty and the loneliness of this process. Not with a false sense of bravado, but an inner strength instead.

We typically believe visionaries and change-makers are blessed with fearlessness. We hark their bravery as a prime quality, but I think it is more likely that they are just more comfortable with their fears. They are more friendly with uncertainty. They are okay with taking the risks of going against the grain, and they’re in deep commitment to the personal alignment of their inner Selves, over the easier, quickly-rewarded alignment to the Establishment.

***

Lately, I have been thinking about this a lot, in the context of two aspects of my life — my growing sensitivity/intolerance to right wing rhetoric in this country, and my evolving ideas around marriage. The two are also very closely related as my personal politics have grown and evolved. I now find myself in a strange new place, where I find myself having to regain belonging again. In a new way, from my new sense of self, having shed all the things I did to belong before — many of which came at a cost to my individual personhood.

Aligning strongly and firmly with personal values that oppose the rules and values of the majority no doubt comes with a loss of belonging and oneness with people around. I feel this deeply in both the aspects I have mentioned above. I feel increasingly like I don’t belong in this country anymore, like this is no place for me anymore. And I feel like a bit of an outsider in the family I have acquired through marriage.

I feel strongly, now more than ever, willing to contend with the inherent loneliness and fear of being in this place, because to choose to flow with the norm just to avoid it feels like too high a cost to pay. My sense of self has grown too strong now, I cannot seem to turn back on this and go back to some of my unthinking, unquestioning ways from before.

Two years ago: Please don’t go
Four years ago: Summer evenings 2

Monday Tarot Message: Healing can sometimes feel counterintuitive

“How can it be good for me when it feels so awful?” — is something I’ve asked myself quite often on my therapeutic journey. Healing can often get turbulent and feel lousy and destabilising. Because you’re going to go all up into all the uncomfortable things you’ve steadfastly avoided. Challenge strong beliefs, question patterns, revisit trauma and face previously unfelt emotions.

Emotions that are ignored don’t go away. They simply get lodged in the subconscious from where they continue to impact outward behaviour. An effective therapeutic practice involves building a safe and steady container within — a holding space for this journey that will bring up a lot of difficult parts of ourselves.

In allowing for feeling all that we have previously denied, we can begin to disengage from the impact that denial has had — whether an unhealthy pattern, or letting go of anxiety or grief, or opening up to positivity and abundance.

We are very used to looking for linear markers and milestones of success and achievement in everything we do. We chase consistent and upward movement. We seek to feel good as validation of our progress, and so we are not used to feeling unsettled and the process can feel counterintuitive. But healing and growth is an inherently non-linear journey that traverses parts that unsettle, challenge and require you to allow for feeling wretched sometimes.

The Nine of Cups reminds us how crucial it is to take this route, over pursuing bliss alone. To build this container, so we can hold ourselves through the turbulent times. Because that is progress too.

In fact, I can vouch through personal experience that, the greatest changes and more monumental differences in my journey have been on the back off the toughest most emotionally challenging phases.

Within the safety of a holding space, we can bring back into the light all that was previously repressed and pushed into the Shadow. It is necessary to know pain so we can know joy, to process grief so we can find relief, to confront so we can let go. So we can do it all actively, with deliberation. In a healthy way.

So yeah, it’ll feel wretched sometimes. It’ll feel unsavoury and confusing. It’ll downright suck too. It’ll feel entirely counterproductive. But that is the only way it goes.

One year ago: Content
Two years ago: I’ve been saving this time
Four years ago: Inside-out

Monday Tarot Message: Working with fear

The undeniable thing about any fear is that it is present on the flip side of the very thing you value the most.

The very things that we desperately want, somehow keep us crippled and stuck, unable to move towards any kind of fruitful outcome.

Like wanting to be a successful entrepreneur, yet crippled by the thought of going solo. Wanting equality in connection, but escaping to the lopsided dynamics of toxic relationships. Like dreaming of showing your art, but feeling the burden of not being good enough. Want to hold your vulnerabilities lightly, but fearing them being seen.

Eight Of Swords reminds us of the more useful way to deal with fear — to engage with it.

When we refuse to see fear, it turns into a surly enemy that blocks the path. But when we articulate it, allow ourselves to feel it, witness what it does to us, share it with another, it loses the hold on us.

Culturally too, we are taught never to show fear. Or let fear show.

We demonise it, and are shown time and time again to avoid it at all costs. So we never learn to engage with it. But fear makes us feel boxed in when we repeatedly avoid that which we fear, or fear itself. It keeps us stuck when this avoidance is so habitual that we unconsciously slip into loops of escape. And we wonder why life isn’t moving on and why certain patterns keep repeating — such as difficulty with success, recurring relationship problems, health troubles.

Perhaps a more useful response to fear is to acknowledge that it’s okay for fear to be there, first. Not to rush to eliminate or get rid of it. To allow it, invite it in. Give it a seat at the table, even.

The next time you feel deep fear, ask yourself, how is it impacting the choice you are about to make? And is that choice going to take you closer to what you value? Or will it keep you stuck?

When you engage with your fear, you give true change a chance, by acknowledging how it is closely linked to what you value. To acknowledge the fear-fuelled urge to give up, turn back, flee, and to invite it in anyway, is actually the precursor to taking mindful, deliberate action. To move towards change, not without fear, but in spite of it.

I feel like this week, the message is so deeply for me.

***

I continue to take enquiries for personal reading sessions. This is most easily done online, either on a video call if you prefer and are comfortable, or a regular voice call too. So if you have been considering — whether you’re in Bangalore or not — please reach out.

If you’d like to know more about how this works and how it might be useful to you, we can have a chat about that too.

Two years ago: And love is all that I can give to you
Three years ago: Because wanting to leave is enough
Four years ago: This day, that year

Card games

Re-upping this post, and sharing part 2 that follows:

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While Tarot Cards were traditionally looked at for prediction and fortune-telling, in present times they are finding a place in aiding emotional healing processes. . It’s been fascinating (and honestly completely consuming) to discover a contemporary application for such an ancient tool. And to see how it is constantly evolving as we make new forays into understanding the mind-body relationship. . In my practice, I draw from learnings in psychology, other behaviour sciences and family constellations, keeping the mysticism and wisdom of the Tarot in mind. . Swipe to understand what the taeot deck can reveal 🤓 . . . . . #riderwaitetarot #tarotwithrevati #tarotcardreadersofinstagram #tarotoninstagram #revatismondaymessages #tarotforhealing #tarotmatters #tarotforallseasons #tarotforallreasons #everydaytarot

A post shared by Revati Upadhya . Com (@revatiupadhya) on

In writing these, I have had to clarify a lot about why I do this and how I want to take this practice forward, for myself. It was an exercise that’s been a long time coming, and I’m glad to be putting in the time towards this, like I have all other professional undertakings, whether writing, or baking, or working with VC. As always, I’m happy to take questions, if you have any — whether you personally want to a reading or not.

***

The all round uncertainty and loss of control, not to mention stressful and emotional, time has been bringing up a lot for everybody, whether they’re conscious of it or not. Literally every reading I have done during this time has a question or two about job certainty. “Why am I feeling so emotional all the time?” in some form or another, is a close second. I feel both these situations so deeply these days. It’s in the air all around us, so if you’ve been feeling it, you’re likely tapping into the collective. Please know that it’s legit. It is allowed.

One year ago: Beachy things
Four years ago: Stop

Monday Tarot Message: Practice intention and mindfulness

One of the purposes of healing the past is to move forward into a future independent of all that holds you back. Individuating from old patterns, toxic cycles, unsupportive relationships, limiting beliefs, and coming into your own power. Arriving at this place involves practice — practicing at life — starting with the most basic building blocks of intention and mindfulness.

Building intentionality is the first baby, but big, step at self-awareness. When you begin to practice this, in the smallest ways it slowly translates to practicing discernment.
Deliberate action.
Commitment to ones personal values.
Honouring the truth.
Boundaries and respect.
Compassion and empathy.

All of this builds the capacity to choose that which serves, and parse out all that doesn’t. That which heals, and that which poisons. That which holds you up, and that which drags you down. That which nourishes and nurtures, and that which drains. Which is basically what a healing journey is all about. Finding yourself, amidst the mess, choosing yourself and walking on.

The practice of intention and mindfulness begins to show up in your life slowly, subtly. You’ll see it in shifts in effective communication, harmonious relationships, respectful equations with people around you, the ability to witness your emotions, a life that is in flow, no matter what the circumstances.

To heal is to essentially move towards that which is in alignment with the self, leaving behind all misdirects. It’s a constant WIP, and you won’t always get it right. But every choice will teach you something, and the Queen of Swords is a reminder that you can move towards a place of mastery where this choice making, discernment, intentionality becomes second nature.

It all begins with cultivating a razor sharp focus on on intention and mindfulness.

Two years ago: I was born this way
Four years ago: Happy music fix

Mid-week Tarot: Loss and betrayal

Pulled a card for myself today, because I needed clarity around this pronounced unease that has surfaced in the last week or so, along with the strange return of someone once close to me that I moved away from, because I never felt seen/heard/loved around them.

But, even as I say “they”, the Two of Cups showed up to once again remind me that it takes two to tango. Both parties create a dynamic. While it may be about them and what they were able/not able to give me, it is also about me (or you).

I know this for sure, especially given the person I am talking about. I did the right thing recognise the dynamic, acknowledge honestly to myself (and to them) what was just not working for me, and move away. But there was something incomplete about the way in which it ended and I carry this desire to have the last word.

Being unseen then spoke of what I wasn’t seeing something in me. And as that same feeling re-surfaces now, I wonder what I am not seeing in myself now too.

The feeling of being unseen in that relationship, reflected my own blindness and refusal to step up to my own need for honesty and greater vulnerability from the other party. The thing is when you open your eyes to a deep need and voicing it is that there’s a 50-50 chance the other party will see it and be able to hold space for it in the way that you need. It could go either way.

I was heartbroken when my hunch that this wouldn’t happen was in fact confirmed. It made me completely move away, and as happy as that development has been, I do carry some disappointment and a sense of betrayal. Almost like everything we had before then was a lie. This is in fact true. A lot of it was indeed a lie, a charade, because I feel like we were playing at being friends, for as long as I was turning away form my intuition that constantly prodded me for more, but I continued to ignore it.

***

As we grow into our skin, we may outgrow people and situations. As we feel fuller in our own beings, we may often find the courage to move away from people who don’t see us fully for who we are. Sometimes the parting is amicable and natural, sometimes abrupt, discomfiting and leaves an unpleasant taste for years to come.

Either way, the wonderful thing about individuating in this manner is that it means you are ready to 1) let go of what no longer serves you 2) make space for new people who will be willing to see you fully.

The Two of Cups shows that sometimes we choose people who serve a very specific purpose. By refusing to see all of us, doubting, judging, being competitive with, mocking and rejecting us, they push us closer to accepting ourselves.

And when that purpose is served, we leave.

Being who you truly are involves walking alone (literally and metaphorically) for much of the journey. It comes with losing people and connection, over and over. I have known this for years, and even as my ease with accepting this grows, the fear of loss and loneliness, old hurt and abandonment resurfaces.

I am reliving that sense of betrayal and of recognising how unseen I was. And it is reminding me to check what I am turning away from, refusing to see currently. It brings unease, but it also serves to shine the light on my path again, reminding me that I must first stand in my power, see myself fully, for those who vibe at my frequency to see me fully.

If you’ve been experiencing unease, rejection or doubt in an intimate relationship, it’s a good time to check if there is something in you that you are rejecting. Is your intuition telling you something that you are not ready to acknowledge?

Back then it was the need for honesty and vulnerability for me. I knew it, i felt it, and yet I pushed it away.

No more.

One year ago: Postcard from staycation — 2
Two years ago: Remind yourself: nobody built like you

Work updates, lockdown edition

I get a fair number of questions, whether prospective clients or general population, about the whys and hows of tarot and what drew me to it, what I get out of it, how it works and why I took to the cards at all.

I get that the perception around tarot cards is shrouded in mystery and it carries a heavy woo-woo charge that some folks avoid because it clashes with their left-brain decision making. And some of this is true. Tarot cards have a foundation in an ancient practice that deals with archetypes, symbols and divination practices. But increasingly, they’re being used in a wide range of applications in the contemporary world, with surprising results. More and more, they’re finding a place, and sparking growing interest, in the world of mental health, self-awareness and self-development. This is the area I am slowly carving a path in as I go, and I hope to grow deeper in this way. So if you have been contemplating this, or if you have questions, please feel free to reach out to me.

Many of you might already know I became interested in reading tarot cards as a tool for my own self-development. It has been a very personal and intimate part of my growth journey. So to now be able to share it with people around me, in my city, around India and far, far beyond (USA, Europe, Dubai, Australia, Singapore, Sri Lanka, at last count) has been extremely satisfying.

So to answer some of the questions I usually get, I’m doing a series of short posts to try and demystify my work. I’m posting my Instagram post as it is, so you can swipe through the carousel to see it, if it interests you. I hope you find it useful, and worth sharing.

If it piques your interest in a session, either for yourself or for someone you think might benefit, please reach out to me or spread the word.

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I became interested in reading Tarot Cards as a tool for my own self-development. To now be able to share something so personal and intimate with people, whether in my city, or as far as Australia, Europe, America and beyond has been very, very satisfying. . To answer questions on how it works, how useful it can be and whether it's just mumbo-jumbo, I'm starting off a series of posts on why and how Tarot has helped me. . I hope you find it useful, and worth sharing. If it piques your interest in a session, please reach out to me. . Swipe to read ahead 🤓 . . . . . #riderwaitetarot #tarotwithrevati #tarotcardreadersofinstagram #tarotoninstagram #revatismondaymessages #tarotforhealing #tarotmatters #tarotforallseasons #tarotforallreasons #everydaytarot

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Like pretty much the whole world, my work slowed down a bit as we all got locked in at home. I had workshops planned out till June, including some in Mumbai, but of course everything is now shelved, possibly indefinitely.

I didn’t take a break from taking personal sessions for readings during this time, though, since this is location-agnostic practice. It was very easy to just move all sessions online. I just didn’t announce or expressly push them, stepping back from “marketing”. Partly because I slowed down considerably with the change in routine and my time suddenly being spent doing so much else around the house.

Come April, the tide turned and I noticed a natural spike in requests for readings again. Many questions around dealing with uncertainty have come up. Almost everyone has questions about work prospects. It is a time that is bubbling with possibility, even as it feels slow and inward.

I took it as a sign to get out there again. There seems to be a need for answers and I am happy to help in whatever way I can. I also feel more settled in a new rhythm of organised-chaotic around here.

I continue to take enquiries for personal reading sessions. This is most easily done online, either on a video call if you prefer and are comfortable, or a regular voice call too. So if you have been considering — whether you’re in Bangalore or not — please reach out.

One year ago: Postcard from staycation — 1
Four years ago: Satisfaction